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His Excellency señor don What's-his-Name was in their eyes, a mud-eel, and in their lingo a congrio; the illustrious orator What-do-you-call-him, who took up a sixteen-page sheet in the Congressional Record every time he spoke, was a percebe, a "barnacle on the keel of Progress"; every act of parliament struck them as a bit of balderdash, though, to hold their jobs, they praised it to the skies in their articles.
The sweetmeat shape is a fair shape, and a lovely; but I would recommend my master, at the first occasion, to purchase some new ones of a... 'That will suffice, exclaimed Diomed, who seemed resolved never to allow his slave to finish his sentences. 'Now, resume thy charge shine eclipse thyself. Let men envy Diomed his cook let the slaves of Pompeii style thee Congrio the great!
'Silence, fool! said Congrio, the cook of the house, who seemed to leave the chief part of the battle to his allies. 'My master, Diomed, is not one of those expensive good-for-noughts, who must have the last fashion, cost what it will! 'Thou liest, base slave! cried Diomed, in a great passion and thou costest me already enough to have ruined Lucullus himself!
'Oh! oh! grumbled he to himself, 'that cursed Congrio hath invited a whole legion of cooks to assist him. They won't serve for nothing, and this is another item in the total of my day's expenses. By Bacchus! thrice lucky shall I be if the slaves do not help themselves to some of the drinking vessels: ready, alas, are their hands, capacious are their tunics. Me miserum!
The chariot, of the colour of hope, which carried Ursus, Gwynplaine, and their fortunes, and in front of which Fibi and Vinos trumpeted like figures of Fame, played its part of this grand Bohemian and literary brotherhood. Thespis would no more have disowned Ursus than Congrio would have disowned Gwynplaine.
But I say, Congrio, yon homunculus yon pigmy assailant of my cranes yon pert-tongued neophyte of the kitchen, was there aught but insolence on his tongue when he maligned the comeliness of my sweetmeat shapes? I would not be out of the fashion, Congrio. 'It is but the custom of us cooks, replied Congrio, gravely, to undervalue our tools, in order to increase the effect of our art.
The last time, O Congrio, that I gave a banquet to my friends, when thy vanity did so boldly undertake the becoming appearance of a Melian crane thou knowest it came up like a stone from AEtna as if all the fires of Phlegethon had been scorching out its juices. Be modest this time, Congrio wary and modest.
'Thy sake, unhappy Congrio! interrupted Diomed; and by what purloined moneys of mine, by what reserved filchings from marketing, by what goodly meats converted into grease, and sold in the suburbs, by what false charges for bronzes marred, and earthenware broken hast thou been enabled to make them serve thee for thy sake? 'Nay, master, do not impeach my honesty! May the gods desert me if...
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