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Updated: June 1, 2025
If you must believe something which you never can know, why not be contented with the long stories about the other world which are told us when we are initiated at the Eleusinian mysteries? Thucydides tells us, in his sixth book, that about this time Alcibiades was suspected of having assisted at a mock celebration of these famous mysteries. CHARICLEA. And what are those stories?
Wells then spoke of Lucius Apuleius and his Golden Ass, which contains the story of Cupid and Psyche, with other matter rich and rare, and went on to the romance of Heliodorus, Theagenes and Chariclea and in it the presiding deities of Love and Wine appear in all their pristine strength, youth, and grace, crowned and worshipped as of yore.
The preparations are rather disagreeable to a novice. But as soon as the fighting begins, by Jupiter, it is a noble time; men trampling, shields clashing, spears breaking, and the poean roaring louder than all. CHARICLEA. But what if you are killed? CALLICLES. What indeed? You must ask Speusippus that question. He is a philosopher.
He is very eloquent upon the Shepherd of Hermas, Theagenes and Chariclea, and the Ethiopics of Heliodorus. Turpin, Scudery, Cotterel, Sidney, the countess D'Anois, and "all such writers as were never read," next pass in review. Boccace and Cervantes occupy a very principal place. The modern French writers of fictitious history from Fenelon to Voltaire, close the first epistle.
Besides, to exclude foreign beauties from the chorus of the initiated in the Elysian fields is less cruel to them than to ourselves. Chariclea, you shall be initiated. CHARICLEA. When? ALCIBIADES. Now. CHARICLEA. Where? ALCIBIADES. Here. CHARICLEA. Delightful! SPEUSIPPUS. But there must be an interval of a year between the purification and the initiation. ALCIBIADES. We will suppose all that.
ALCIBIADES. My life, my sweet soul, it is but for a short time. In a year we conquer Sicily. In another, we humble Carthage. Nay, smile, my Chariclea, or I shall talk nonsense to no purpose. HIPPOMACHUS. The largest elephant that I ever saw was in the grounds of Teribazus, near Susa. I wish that I had measured him. ALCIBIADES. I wish that he had trod upon you.
It was otherwise, they say, in the days of Theagenes and Chariclea. "How! will you never be satisfied with hearing?" says their historian, who, when he came to a prosperous epoch in their history, seems to have had a discreet suspicion that he might be too long; "Is not my discourse yet tedious?"
ALCIBIADES. No; when I cease to see you, other objects may compel my attention; but can I be near you without thinking how lovely you are, and how soon I must leave you? HIPPOMACHUS. Ay; travelling soon puts such thoughts out of men's heads. CALLICLES. A battle is the best remedy for them. CHARICLEA. A battle, I should think, might supply their place with others as unpleasant. CALLICLES. No.
The gods forbid that I should detain you from such choice society! SCENE A Hall in the house of ALCIBIADES. ALCIBIADES, SPEUSIPPUS, CALLICLES, HIPPOMACHUS, CHARICLEA, and others, seated round a table feasting. ALCIBIADES. Bring larger cups. This shall be our gayest revel. It is probably the last for some of us at least.
Then there are all the titles of early Romance itself at your disposal, 'Theagenes and Chariclea' or 'The Ass' of Longus, or 'The Golden Ass' of Apuleius, or the titles of Gothic Romance, such as 'The most elegant, delicious, mellifluous, and delightful History of Perceforest, King of Great Britain." And therewith my father ran over a list of names as long as the Directory, and about as amusing.
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