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"'I repeat, plainly and sadly, ma'am, that one-fourteenth of my heart and hands is at your disposal. "'Heh? says she again. 'An' what's the one-foorteeneth mane? "'I have now, I replies, 'thirteen wives 'Before I could get another word out she was ra'rin. "'Oh! she yells, 'ye villyan! Ye long-legged blaggard! Ye hairless ol' scoundrel of the world!
'We've woke him up, Masther Arthur, if it's asleep he was at all, the rogue; an' now he's sthrugglin' out of the hole wid all his might. Keep in there, you big villyan, you don't dare to offer to come out; for Andy set his shoulder against the great carcase, which nevertheless sheered round till muzzle and paws could be brought into action, and their use illustrated on Andy's person.
He's irresponsible. There ain't annything in th' wurruld f'r him but dark villyans an' blond heroes. An' he's always fightin' these here imaginary inimies an' frinds, wantin' to desthroy a poor, tired, scared villyan, an' losin' his good money to a hero. I've thried to stop him. 'Use ye'er willpower, say I. 'Limit ye'ersilf to a book or two a day, says I. 'Stay in th' open air.
Be sure nothing is neglected." "Yes'm," said Martha. The next morning Eliza met her at the area-gate, showing a face of ominous sympathy, wagging a doleful head. "What'd I tell you?" she exclaimed before she had even unlatched the spring-lock. "That young villyan has a head on him old enough to be his father's, if so be he ever had one. He's deep as a well.
"We thought your new junk wagon broke down." "Don't say anything against his new junk Wagon or he'll never tell us anything." "Did you put the baby to bed?" "Yes and locked him in." "What kept you so late?" "We got mixed up with a Bandit of Harrowing Highway." "Who's he?" "He's a villyan." "A which?" "A movie play." "That's a nice thing for two scoutmasters to go and see.
All that day, Martha held herself in readiness to answer at headquarters for what she had done. "He'll shoor tell his mother, the young villyan," said Eliza. "An' then it'll be Mrs. Slawson for the grand bounce." But Mrs. Slawson did not worry. She went about her work as usual, and when, in the course of her travels, she met Radcliffe, she greeted him as if nothing had happened.
'Ye're goin' to teach thim that a man doesn't have to use an ax to get along in th' wurruld. Ye're goin' to teach thim that a la-ad with a curlin' black mustache an' smokin' a cigareet is always a villyan, whin he's more often a barber with a lar-rge family. Life, says ye! There's no life in a book. If ye want to show thim what life is, tell thim to look around thim.
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