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What tears, secret but deep, bitter but unreproaching, have I retired to shed, when I caught her cold and unaffectionate glance!
"Oh happy they, the happiest of their kind," who enjoy, in the peace and repose of a private station, a competency, good health, a love of, and power of indulging in, study; an unreproaching conscience, and a cheerful mind!
I assured her, that she should never perceive any change in my affections, and that during my life, which yet might be long, she might depend upon a guardian and an instructor. I armed her against the censures of the world, shewed her that books were sweet unreproaching companions to the miserable, and that if they could not bring us to enjoy life, they would at least teach us to endure it.
Favour them not, ladies, especially now that every one of you carries a possible marechal's baton under her gown. 'Happy, it has been said by a distinguished man, 'is he who can leave college with an unreproaching conscience and an unsullied heart. I don't know; he sounds to me like a sloppy, watery sort of fellow; happy, perhaps, but if there be red blood in him impossible.
Travel upon the continent with friends, occasional visits to the old family house in England, long sojourns in this or the other city such had been her life, quiet, sweet, reproachless and unreproaching.
Perhaps when I am no more, when the measure of my woes is completed, and the still, silent, unreproaching dust has received my sad remains,-then, perhaps, when accusation is no longer to be feared, nor detection to be dreaded, the voice of equity and the cry of nature may be heard. Listen, Oh Belmont, to their dictates! reprobate not your child, though you have reprobated its mother.
Without that memory of Raffles she might still have thought only of monetary ruin, but now along with her brother's look and words there darted into her mind the idea of some guilt in her husband then, under the working of terror came the image of her husband exposed to disgrace and then, after an instant of scorching shame in which she felt only the eyes of the world, with one leap of her heart she was at his side in mournful but unreproaching fellowship with shame and isolation.
And the fond mother hoped he always would. But these words often came back to Eric's mind in later and less happy days days when that gentle hand could no longer rest lovingly on his head when those mild blue eyes were dim with tears, and the fair boy, changed in heart and life, often flung himself down with an unreproaching conscience to prayerless sleep.
Happy the man, you would have thought, whose eye will rest on her in the pauses of his fireside reading whose hot aching forehead will be soothed by the contact of her cool soft hand who will recover himself from dejection at his mistakes and failures in the loving light of her unreproaching eyes!
All that brief experience of a quiet home which had once seemed a dullness to be fled from, now came back to her as a restful escape, a station where she found the breath of morning and the unreproaching voice of birds after following a lure through a long Satanic masquerade, which she had entered on with an intoxicated belief in its disguises, and had seen the end of in shrieking fear lest she herself had become one of the evil spirits who were dropping their human mummery and hissing around her with serpent tongues.
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