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One after the other, he tackles us in a severe onmitigated way, an' shoves his professional kyard onto each an' tells him that whenever he feels ill-used to come a-runnin' an' have his rights preserved. Shore! the boys meets this law person half way. They drinks with him an' fills him up with licker an' fictions alternate, an' altogether regyards him as a mighty yoomerous prop'sition.
At last he's as radiant as a rainbow, an' after garterin' each laig with a belt of sleigh-bells jest below the knee, he regyards himse'f with a fav'rable eye an' allows he's ondoubted the wildest wag in his set. "Each buck arrives at the Round House with his blanket wropped over his head so as not to blind the onwary with his splendours.
No, sir; I've yet to meet up with the toad who has his simple, even, gen'rous temper or lovin' heart; as trustful too, Augustus is, as the babe jest born. But like all noble nachers, Augustus is sensitive, an' he regyards them bats in the nose as insults. As I says, you-all should have seen him!
"'Don't they have no roast dog at that warjig? asks Dan Boggs, when I'm relatin' these reminiscences in the Red Light. "'No, I says; 'Osages don't eat no dogs. "'It's different with Utes a lot, says Dan, 'Which Utes regyards dogs fav'rable, deemin' 'em a mighty sucyoolent an' nootritious dish.
I tharfore tenders regrets, an', startin' all over, states without reserve that I'm a cow man. "'Me? says the old party, stabbin' at his shirt bosom with his thumb; 'me? I'm a scientist. "'Which the news is exhilaratin' an' interestin', I says; 'shake ag'in! If thar's one thin-I regyards high, it's a scientist.
Meanin' no disrespects for you gents knows me too well to dream of me harborin' anything but feelin's of the highest regyards for one an' all I'll have to leave you camped in original darkness. It would be breakin' professional confidences.
Old Coyote mixes his p'isen with beef tallow, biles them ingredients up together a lot, an' then, while she's melted that a-way, he pours it into these yere auger holes an' lets it cool. It gets good an' hard, this arsenic-tallow does, an' then Coyote drags the timber thus reg'lated out onto the plains to what he regyards as a elegible local'ty an' leaves it for the wolves to come an' batten on.
As a result thar's probably one more Yank than otherwise; an' now that peace is yere an' we-all is earnestly settlin' to be brothers No'th and South, I regyards that extra Yank as a advantage. Shore, he's a commoonal asset. "'Tell us how you fails to c'llect this Yankee, Major, says Faro Nell: 'which I'm plumb interested every time that some one don't get killed.
No, it don't hurt him; but he regyards sech demonstrations as insults. It's like my old pap says that time about the Yankees. My old pap is a colonel with Gen'ral Price, an' on this evenin' is engaged in leadin' one of the most intrepid retreats of the war.
Fill your hide, but don't flourish no funds, or go enlargin' on any weakness you has for buyin' your own licker. As for seein' Jack Rainey, it's plumb impossible. He's got too full to visit folks or be visited by 'em; but he's upsta'rs on some blankets, an' if his reason is restored by tomorry, you sends up your kyard an' pays him your regyards pendin' of which social function, take another drink.
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