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Updated: May 21, 2025
"Well, I've been thinking for some time of applying to the Government of India for an assistant political officer who would help me and take over if I went on leave, but I'd want to train my own man and not merely accept any youngster who was pitchforked into the Department just because he had a father or an uncle with a pull at Simla.
"To see you," says the professor, absently. He is thinking! He has taken her hand, and held it, and dropped it again, all in a state of high bewilderment. "Is this the big, strong, noisy girl of his imaginings? The bouncing creature with untidy hair, and her clothes pitchforked on to her?"
It had not the power to stir the senses to a pitch of excitement like this veritable Tom Tiddler's ground, pitchforked into their very laps by one of Nature's freakish impulses. With this thought came something very like regret at the apparent richness of the find. Something must be done, and done without delay, to regulate the situation.
It's not their idea that the girls they marry shall already have been pitchforked by talk and contacts and visits and newspapers and by the way the poor creatures rush about and all the extraordinary things they do quite into EVERYTHING. A girl's most intelligent friend is her mother or the relative acting as such. Perhaps you consider that Tishy takes your place!" Mrs.
It was a situation which exactly suited his frame of mind; he stood alone in direct opposition to the community into which Fate had pitchforked him so abruptly. He liked the feeling; for the first time since his father had given him his views upon school reports that morning in the Easter holidays, he felt satisfied with life.
Unfit persons would try for the positions because of the higher pay. That is what happens now. Under the present system men intrigue for and obtain or are pitchforked into positions for which they have no natural ability at all; the only reason they desire these positions is because of the salaries attached to them.
Finally, as the soft silvery twilight encompassed us, he told what I wanted to know. "My father was a manufacturer who married a Frenchwoman. My brothers have trodden carefully and securely in my father's footsteps. They are all fairly prosperous smug, respectable fellows. I resemble my mother. After Eton and Christ Church I was pitchforked into the family business.
"That I seem to be involved, somehow, in a very strange and curious combination of things," answered Miss Wickham. "Just so!" agreed Viner. "So do I and I was literally pitchforked into the very midst of it all by sheer accident. If I hadn't happened to go out for a late stroll on the night on which it began, I should never have but here we are!"
The presumptuous child blushingly protested she had never expressed any such wish to Peter, upon which Nick, with broader humour, revealed that Peter had served them so out of stinginess: he had pitchforked them together in the public room because he wouldn't go to the expense of a cabinet.
You can't really fake them not after you've once known the real thing. And as it happens I have known it, for I came from a village up that way myself. "And, then, I was curious, too. I've always had a private opinion that if chance hadn't pitchforked Conway into the prize-ring he'd have made a grand success as a blackjack artist or a second-story man.
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