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Updated: May 9, 2025
I do hope they ain't got any such wind out to the Banks! You ain't asked me about the funeral, Sairay." "I was so busy, mother; were there many there?" "E'enamost a hundred, I should think; they come from as far away as Norcross an' Weskisset. Then there was the Pettibones, an' the Hornblowers, an' the Scrantouns. Oh, 'twas a grand buryin'!"
Alas, your reverence! there he is now, and I cannot get rid of him, and 'tis over the whole town that he has the meeting-house in possession." "Tis an incredible story!" cried the Reverend Pettibones. "'Tis a lie from beginning to end!" cried the Colonel. "And now how shall I get myself out of my pickle?" asked Captain Obadiah. "Sir," said Mr.
"Do you mean piracy?" asked the Reverend Pettibones; and Captain Obadiah nodded his head. "'Tis a lie!" cried Colonel Belford, smacking his hand upon the table. "He never possessed spirit enough for anything so dangerous as piracy or more mischievous than slave-trading." "Sir," quoth Captain Obadiah to the reverend gentleman, "again I say 'tis to you I address my confession.
The Reverend Josiah Pettibones was used of a Saturday to take supper at Colonel Belford's elegant residence. It was upon such an occasion and the reverend gentleman and his honored host were smoking a pipe of tobacco together in the library, when there fell a loud and importunate knocking at the house door, and presently the servant came ushering no less a personage than Captain Obadiah himself.
But you must know that it is to this gentleman that I address myself, and not to you." Then directing his discourse once more to the Reverend Mr. Pettibones, he resumed his address thus: "Sir, you must know that while I was in the West Indies I embarked, among other things, in one of those ventures against the Spanish Main of which you may have heard."
After directing a most cunning, mischievous look at his brother, Captain Obadiah addressed himself directly to the Reverend Mr. Pettibones, folding his hands with a most indescribable air of mock humility.
And Ive seen sugar of his making, which, maybe, wasnt as white as an old topgallant sail, but which my friend, Mistress Pettibones, within there, said had the true molasses smack to it; and you are not the one, Squire Dickens, to be told that Mistress Remarkable has a remarkable tooth for sweet things in her nut- grinder.
Pettibones, "if what you tell me is true, 'tis beyond my poor powers to aid you." "Alas!" cried Captain Obadiah. "Alas! alas! Then, indeed, I'm damned!" And therewith flinging his arms into the air as though in the extremity of despair, he turned and incontinently departed, rushing forth out of the house as though stung by ten thousand furies.
The Judge says the true word, cried Benjamin, with one of his discordant laughs. Now here is Mistress Remarkable Pettibones; just take the stopper off her tongue, and youll hear a gabbling worse like than if you should happen to fall to leeward in crossing a French privateer, or some such thing, mayhap, as a dozen monkeys stowed in one bag.
Alas, sir! what was a poor wretch so tempted as I to do?" "And did you sign?" asked Mr. Pettibones, all agog to hear the conclusion of so strange a narration. "Woe is me, sir, that I should have done so!" quoth Captain Obadiah, rolling his eyes until little but the whites of them were to be seen. "And did you catch the Spanish ship?" "That we did, sir, and stripped her as clean as a whistle."
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