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Updated: September 28, 2025
I think characteristic of Nelka was her highly emotional expressions of loyalty and devotion, an emotion which dominated all of her life and all of her actions. Anything she did or undertook was primarily motivated by emotion or feeling rather than reason, but once decided upon was carried out with determination and a great deal of will power.
Nelka was never afraid physically, but she was also never afraid morally. I think after our marriage and also the circumstances of the Revolution Nelka lost some of her restlessness. Marriage for better or worse was an achievement and carried with it an obligation and a purpose. She took the acceptance of marriage as a completeness and a fusion of two persons into one.
Of course we arrived just about the time the train was pulling out and dashed towards the platform. A soldier stood at the entrance with his rifle and when Nelka plunged headlong towards him, he thrust his rifle horizontally in front of her to stop her.
Her aunt had a large house and was in the social whirl of the capital. Dinners, balls, the White House, the Embassies but all this meant little to Nelka and she felt the futility of all that activity, its artificiality and uselessness. Irritated and longing for a change she once again returned to Russia, and once again went back to the Kaufman community.
Most of it was with small arms only, but when the bullets begun to spatter against our destroyer, the captain decided that we better get out, which we did, and we steamed back to Constantinople. With this delay, we were off schedule and instead of arriving on Monday it was Wednesday. When I returned home I found that Nelka was gone, with a note left for me.
"It was terrible in many ways. Those first days at Kara Youssouff, but I feel it was the greatest privilege to be there. One felt helpless before such a demand but it was all so real and every breath meant so much." Once finished with the Balkan war, Nelka returned to America and joined her aunts. Before leaving she spent several days with my mother and me in our country place.
Nelka used to say that this was the only honest and "above board" business. In the summer of 1927 we received the news that Nelka's Uncle Herbert Wadsworth had died suddenly from a heart attack. Once again Nelka had a severe blow and sorrow and once more she had lost a close person without having seen him. That fall we finally sailed for America with our friends Count and Countess Pushkin.
Just before she had left Russia, Princess Wasilchikoff had asked her to assume the reorganization of a sister community and hospital in Kovno, a fortress-town near the German border. Nelka did not accept the offer though it was of considerable interest to her, because she was then returning to America and had plans to stay with her aunts.
Any way it all depends on what happens at Adrianople." Sofia 1912. "I have just come from the Queen. She was ill and could not receive me before. She was very, very nice much nicer than I expected and better looking than her pictures. It is now 3 A.M., and I am to get up at six." Nelka joined the division of sisters at Adrianople and took part in the fighting to take that city.
Batum in the meantime had been occupied by the Bolshevik forces and therefore Nelka's position became very precarious. She argued with the captain but he said he had a cargo to pick up and that he was going in. The first thing Nelka did was to hide her identification papers, her passport and visas. Better to have nothing than to be found out as a White Russian.
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