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Updated: April 30, 2025
Mr Escot. Your observation militates on my side of the question; and it is a strong argument in favour of the Indian, that he has no such enemy to kill. Mr Jenkison. There is certainly a great deal to be said against dancing: there is also a great deal to be said in its favour.
The force of contrast struck even on the phlegmatic spirit of Mr Jenkison, and he almost inclined for a moment to the doctrine of deterioration. Mr Escot continued: Mr Escot. Nor is the lot of the parents more enviable. Sedentary victims of unhealthy toil, they have neither the corporeal energy of the savage, nor the mental acquisitions of the civilised man.
Meaning, I presume, the organ of building; which I contend to be not a natural organ of the featherless biped. Mr Cranium. Pardon me: it is here. Mr Escot. I contend that the original unsophisticated man was by no means constructive. He lived in the open air, under a tree. The Reverend Doctor Gaster. The tree of life. Unquestionably. Till he had tasted the forbidden fruit. Mr Jenkison.
Did I see a young lady in want of a partner, gallantry would incite me to offer myself as her devoted knight for half an hour: but, as I perceive there are enough without me, that motive is null. I have been weighing these points pro and con, and remain in statu quo. Mr Escot.
"Indeed," said Mr Escot, "nothing would be more agreeable to both of us than such an arrangement: but the old gentleman, since I first knew him, has changed, like the rest of the world, very lamentably for the worse: now, we wish to bring him to reason, if possible, though we mean to dispense with his consent, if he should prove much longer refractory."
"What would you have better? He has ten thousand virtues." "So has Mr Panscope," said Mr Cranium; "he has ten thousand a year." "Virtues?" said Squire Headlong. "Pounds," said Mr Cranium. "I have set my mind on Mr Escot," said the squire. "I am much obliged to you," said Mr Cranium, "for dethroning me from my paternal authority." "Who fished you out of the water?" said Squire Headlong.
Mr Mac Laurel. Ye ken, sir, a mon mun leeve. Mr Escot. While he can live honourably, naturally, justly, certainly: no longer. Mr Mac Laurel. Every mon, sir, leeves according to his ain notions of honour an' justice: there is a wee defference amang the learned wi' respact to the defineetion o' the terms. Mr Escot.
Escot immediately pointed all the artillery of his eloquence, declaring the use of animal food, conjointly with that of fire, to be one of the principal causes of the present degeneracy of mankind. "The natural and original man," said he, "lived in the woods; the roots and fruits of the earth supplied his simple nutriment; he had few desires, and no diseases.
The progress of philosophical investigation, and the rapidly increasing accuracy of human knowledge, approximate by degrees the diversities of opinion; so that, in process of time, moral science will be susceptible of mathematical demonstration; and, clear and indisputable principles being universally recognised, the coincidence of deduction will necessarily follow. Mr Escot.
The Squire flew over to Mr Escot. "I told you," said he, "I would settle him: but there is a very hard condition attached to his compliance." "I submit to it," said Mr Escot, "be it what it may." "Nothing less," said Squire Headlong, "than the absolute and unconditional surrender of the skull of Cadwallader." "I resign it," said Mr Escot.
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