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Updated: June 14, 2025
She'd got all nerved up readin' them dretful things and felt queer, I wuz sorry for Blandina to think she wuz so very sensitive to masculine influence.
But Blandina wanted to look over the articles of men's wearin' apparell a little more; I don't see what comfort they wuz to her but she said, "They brought back memories." And I spoze they did make her think of Teeter and mebby his possible successor.
And Blandina jined in of course and said that if dear Uncle Josiah's mind wuz sot on it it wuz best to go, and she sez kinder low to me, "it wuzn't right to cross a man unless it wuz absolutely necessary."
As none of the beasts would touch the body of Blandina, she was released from the stake, taken back to prison, and reserved for another occasion.
It was but right that the most valiant champions, those who had sustained a double assault and gained a signal victory, should receive a splendid crown of immortality. The neophyte Maturus and the deacon Sanctus, Blandina and Attalus, then, were led into the amphitheatre, and thrown to the beasts, as a sight to please the inhumanity of the Gentiles.
The seen wuz so hugely grand, so magnificently stupendous, and the mind that it wuz my duty as first chaperone to guard wuz so small I sez to myself, could it be bombarded by that immense grandeur and not utterly collapse. But Blandina wuz on the other side on him, so I didn't feel as I should had the responsibility devolved on me alone. But he bore it well.
Blandina had always lived in a back place and had never heard a graphophone, so bein' kinder tired, and bein' nigh a place where they had one, we went in at her request and sot for quite a spell. And we heard voices and songs gay and sad, marches and melodies, loftiest oratory, maddest mirth and profoundest feeling all comin' out of a little square box, what a idee! What a man that Edison is.
They stood it pretty well, though I noticed one or two on 'em weepin' bitterly, not knowin' what ailed 'em. Well, to resoom backward, I sez to Blandina, "I hearn Aspire Todd at a Fourth of July celebration in Josiah's sugar bush." "Oh," sez Blandina, claspin' her hands, "would it be possible for you to introduce me to that noble being?" Sez I, "You like his talk then?"
But one thing, I believe, that made her want to stay, we met Billy Huff jest as we wuz comin' out of the buildin', and Blandina proposed that she should stay a little longer with him and I gin a willin' consent, more willin' it seemed to me than Billy wuz, though he couldn't refuse to escort home a guest of the house.
I spoke to Blandina about it, how pleased I wuz to see my sect settin' up so high in the place of honor, and she sez: "Oh, Aunt Samantha, I cannot rejoice with you, it rasps my very soul to see men slighted! What would the world do without men?" "Well," sez I, wantin' to please her, "men do come handy lots of times. But," sez I reasonably, "the world wouldn't last long if it wuzn't for wimmen."
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