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Updated: August 29, 2024
While on the point of friendly congratulations and advice, I should not forget to mention, that Horner also had his fling at me, perpetrating what he considered a joke at my expense. "Bai-ey Je-ove!" he said the very next Sunday when I met him outside the church after service. "You aah one of aws, now, Lorton, hay?" "Yes," I said.
I said, wheeling off abruptly at a right angle from the road we had been pursuing, and going out of my way in order to get rid of him. Flesh and blood could no longer stand his unmeaning, yet gibing platitudes. "Bai-ey Je-ove!" he exclaimed. "But, stawp, my deah fellah.
Lady Dasher, you may be sure, I never went nigh; she would have altogether overwhelmed me. As for that insufferable ass, Horner, he was always asking me whenever we met, which was much oftener than I cared about, with a provoking simper and his unmeaning, eye-glass stare and drawling voice coupled with a tone of would-be-facetious irony "Bai-ey Je-ove!
Bai-ey Je-ove! there's Lizzie Dangler. Who's that man she's got in tow, ah?" "Hang Lizzie Dangler!" I exclaimed, impatiently. "Can't you answer a question for once in your life did you see them, or not?" "Weally, Lorton," said he, in quite an imploring way, "you needn't get angwy with a fellah, because he can't tell you what you want to know, you know! It's weally too hot for that sawt of thing.
His character altogether might be said to have been a negative one, as the only speciality for which he was particularly distinguished was for the variety of intonation and meaning which he could give to his two favourite exclamations, "Yaas," and "Bai-ey Je-ove!" thus economising his conversational powers to a considerable extent, which was a great advantage for him and others, too, as he might, you know, have had little more to say.
We men folk, on the contrary, soon contrive to exhibit the state of our feelings to unsympathising outsiders, who laugh at us and deride us thereanent! We are "creatures of impulse:" they, the most barefaced little dissimulators possible! Fancy, Horner being married, though! "Bai-ey Je-ove!" It would be, to me, well-nigh incredible!
"Well, then, I'll tell you, Horner," said I. "It was by minding his own business, my dear fellow." "Bai-ey Je-ove!" he ejaculated, adding, after a pause, "Weally, Lorton, you dawn't mean it?" "I suppose," I continued, "that you are also just as ignorant again how Mr Peabody made his second and greater fortune, eh?" "Yaas," he drawled out.
Their name is Clyde, and they have a good deal of money, I believe," said Bessie Dasher. "Bai-ey Je-ove!" exclaimed Horner. "I say, old fellah, p'waps they ah those ladies in hawf-mawning, ah?" "Dear me! this is quite interesting," said Miss Spight. "Do let me know what the joke is about ladies in half-mourning, Mr Lorton something romantic, I've no doubt."
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