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No hard-and-fast rules can be given for this work because conditions vary; you must rely some on your judgment and learn by experience. It is said that overexposure is better than underexposure and can be handled better in developing the films, so when in doubt it is well to allow a little more time than you think should be necessary. Curious results sometimes come from underexposed films.
I did not expect much of the plate, because it had been exposed and handled carelessly, and I thought that it might prove to be underexposed or light-struck. So I left Cecil to develop it while I prepared the fixing bath. Cecil was whistling away when suddenly he gave a tremendous "whew" of astonishment and sprang to his feet. "Amy, Amy, look here!" he cried.
I came to believe that I could find these things by studying with a sorcerer in a desert in Mexico, by gazing at an underexposed photograph of a *fully* enlightened Indian man, and by following the etiquette of a warm, funny, brilliant, persona-flipping man with a Ph.D. in English. I later looked to Gandhi and to William Shirer for answers.
"The rabbi is so... plain," I decided. I felt certain that he had never read the Castaneda books. My mother said little during the meeting. She was hoping that the rabbi would build for my brother and me a framework through which we could view our mystical quest. When the meeting was over, I went home and stared at the underexposed Transcendental photo of Chinmoy.
But it was so underexposed that it seemed not a picture of a guru, but rather a mug-shot of a ghost with high cheekbones. It reminded me of one of the experimental images which had emerged from my father's darkroom. "The Transcendental portrays Guru in his highest transcendental consciousness," my brother told me. Atmananda scanned the audience, mostly women in their sixties.
With each passing week, Atmananda further opened the audience to the possibility that they could evolve countless lifetimes by staring at the underexposed photo of a balding man. After about a month, he announced: "Those who are interested in the advanced side of self-discovery should ask Mark for a map to the Centre."
"Does Atmananda's path have heart?" I wondered. "Is it even a path? What the hell is going on?" I turned toward the underexposed photo of Chinmoy still on my shrine. "What if Guru has not fallen?" I wondered, not wanting to be left bobbing in the stormy sea of ignorance. "But then again," I thought, reminded of Atmananda's uncanny ability to see, "what if he has?" I felt overwhelmed.
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