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"''Twud be better for you if ut were, sez ould Mother Shadd, an' she had ought to know, for Shadd, in the ind av his service, dhrank bung-full each night. "Wid that I tuk off my gloves there was pipe-clay in thim, so that they stud alone an' pulled up my chair, lookin' round at the china ornaments an' bits av things in the Shadds' quarters.
'Well, says th' horse rayporther, 'they's a couple iv rabbits goin' to sprint around th' thrack at th' fair groun's, he says. I think 'twud be a good thing f'r rellijon if ye'd lind me tin that I might br-reak th' sin-thralled bookys that come down here fr'm Kansas City f'r to skin th' righteous, he says. 'No, says th' editor, he says, 'no horse racin' in this paper, he says.
Twud be a good job f'r Aggynaldoo, too, if he cud find himsilf an' had th' time It must be clear to him be what news he hears whin th' other pigrim father, Sinitor Hoar, calls on him in th' three where he makes his home, that what Kentucky needs now is wan an' on'y wan stable govermint an' a little public peace.
Th' King of England was aboord iv her, an' he was near killed, be havin' a mast fall on him. Th' Lord knows how he escaped. A mass iv steel weighin' a hundherd thousan' ton fell on his Majesty an' bounced off. Sir Lipton felt pretty bad about it. He didn't mind losin' a mast or two, but he didn't want annywan to know he had th' king aboord. 'Twud hurt business.
We can't give thim to anny wan without makin' th' wan that gets thim feel th' way Doherty felt to Clancy whin Clancy med a frindly call an' give Doherty's childher th' measles. We can't sell thim, we can't ate thim, an' we can't throw thim into th' alley whin no wan is lookin'. An' 'twud be a disgrace f'r to lave befure we've pounded these frindless an' ongrateful people into insinsibility.
I know more thin most iv thim la-ads down below; f'r I can't undherstand a wurrud ye say, so I'm onable, I says, 'f'r to make mistakes. I won't give anny tistimony, because 'twud be out iv place in this sacred timple devoted to th' practice iv orathry, I says; 'but I can make as good a speech as annywan, an' here goes. "Gin'ral Merceer 'May I ask this polluted witness wan question?
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