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I wish I could repeat the little Circumstances of a Conversation of the four Lovers with the Spirit in which the young Lady, I had my Account from, represented it at a Visit where I had the Honour to be present; but it seems Dick Crastin, the admirer of Honoria, and Tom Tulip, the Pretender to Flavia, were purposely admitted together by the Ladies, that each might shew the other that her Lover had the Superiority in the Accomplishments of that sort of Creature whom the sillier Part of Women call a fine Gentleman.
These Servants of the Ladies were used to imitate their Manner of Conversation, and allude to one another, rather than interchange Discourse in what they said when they met. Tulip the other Day seized his Mistress's Hand, and repeated out of Ovid's Art of Love, Upon hearing this, Crastin, with an Air of Deference, played Honoria's Fan, and repeated,
These Beauties Rival each other on all Occasions, not that they have always had the same Lovers but each has kept up a Vanity to shew the other the Charms of her Lover. Dick Crastin and Tom Tulip, among many others, have of late been Pretenders in this Family: Dick to Honoria, Tom to Flavia.
Tulip gives himself the Air of a restless Ravisher, Crastin practises that of a skilful Lover. Poetry is the inseparable Property of every Man in Love; and as Men of Wit write Verses on those Occasions, the rest of the World repeat the Verses of others.
When Crastin had uttered these Verses with a Tenderness which at once spoke Passion and Respect, Honoria cast a triumphant Glance at Flavia, as exulting in the Elegance of Crastin's Courtship, and upbraiding her with the Homeliness of Tulip's.
As this Age has a much more gross Taste in Courtship, as well as in every thing else, than the last had, these Gentlemen are Instances of it in their different Manner of Application. Tulip is ever making Allusions to the Vigour of his Person, the sinewy Force of his Make; while Crastin professes a wary Observation of the Turns of his Mistress's Mind.
'I understand very well what you meant by your Mention of Platonick Love. I shall be glad to meet you immediately in Hide-Park, or behind Montague-House, or attend you to Barn-Elms, or any other fashionable Place that's fit for a Gentleman to die in, that you shall appoint for, Sir, Your most Humble Servant, Richard Crastin.
Flavia tears her Hair for his inglorious Safety, curses and despises her Charmer, is fallen in Love with Crastin: Which is the first Part of the History of the Rival Mother. No. 92. Friday, June 15, 1711. Addison. ... Convivae prope dissentire videntur, Poscentes vario multum diversa palato; Quid dem? Quid non dem? Hor.
They immediately undressed to go out, and took Hackneys to prevent Mischief: but, after alarming all Parts of the Town, Crastin was found by his Widow in his Pumps at Hide-Park, which Appointment Tulip never kept, but made his Escape into the Country.
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