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Updated: June 1, 2025
Carver of Bob's Fort himself, in all his glory this fair-day. See then how he struts and swells. Did ever man, but a pacock, look so fond of himself with less rason? But I must be caught deep in accounts, and a balance of thousands to credit. Carver of Bob's Fort? Oh! the honour Mr. Carv. Don't stir, pray I beg I request I insist. I am by no means ceremonious, sir. O'Bla. Mr. Carv.
But about our examinations, plase your honour, we're all come to swear here's myself, and little Charley of Killaspugbrone, and big Briny of Cloon, and Ulick of Eliogarty all ready to swear. Mr. Carv. But have these gentlemen no tongues of their own, madam? Catty. No, plase your honour, little Charley has no English tongue; he has none but the native Irish. Mr. Carv.
And plase your honour, I take this opportunity of tanking your honour for the encouragement I got about that little clerk's place and here's a copy of my hand-writing I'd wish to show your honour, to see I'm capable and a scholard. Mr. Carv. Hand-writing! Bless me, young man, I have no time to look at your hand-writing, sir.
Gently, gently, my good lady; no such thing in my presence, as scum o' the earth. Catty. Well, Scotchmen, if your honour prefars. Mr. Carv. Irrelevant in toto, madam; for buckeens and spalpeens are manners or species of men unknown to or not cognizable by the eye of the law; against them, therefore, you cannot swear: but if you have any thing against Philip McBride Catty.
Mighty apt! for which rason I would wish to trouble you for your unprecedently good advice on another pint, if it, would not be too great a liberty. Mr. Carv. No liberty at all, my good Gerald I am always ready to advise only to-day certainly, the fair day of Ballynavogue, there are so many calls upon me, both in a public and private capacity, so much business of vital importance! O'Bla. Jack!
CARVER sits down and rests himself consequentially. O'Bla. Now, Mr. Carver of Bob's Fort, you've been over fartiguing yourself Mr. Carv. For the public good. I can't help it, really. O'Bla. Oh! but, upon my word and honour, it's too much: there's rason in all things. A man of Mr. Carver's fortin to be slaving! If you were a man in business, like me, it would be another thing.
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