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One day I whacked this leopard more than ushil, which elissited a remonstrance from a tall gentleman in spectacles, who said, "My good man, do not beat the poor caged animal. Rather fondle him." "I'll fondle him with a club," I ansered, hitting him another whack. "I prithy desist," said the gentleman; "stand aside, and see the effeck of kindness.
"Do I feel for it?" ansered the lan'lord, in a puzzled voice " do I feel for it?" "Yes; for the oppressed, the benighted?" "Inasmuch as to which?" said the lan'lord. "You see this man?" said the female, pintin her umbreller at the negro gentleman. "Yes, marm, I see him." "Yes!" said the female, raisin her voice to a exceedin high pitch, "you see him, and he's your brother!"
I said, "Bigsby, if you do that agin, I shall hit you! Much as I respect you and your excellent faml'y, I shall disfiger your beneverlent countenance for life!" "What has ruffled your spirits, friend?" said the lan'lord. "My spirits has been ruffled," I ansered in a bittur voice, "by a viper who was into the Crimea.
Mires Ile have 6 porc chops. at that inst. the telaphone wrang & mr. Mires slidd for it like it was 2nd base. Hold on Mires says Pa, who got here 1st, me or that bell wringer. Igscuse me just 1 min. says Mr. mires. No I be ding if Ile igscuse you says Pa, 1st come 1st served is the rool of bizness all over. But Mr. mires wyped his hands on his apern & ansered the wring & it was mrs.
I saw at once that the Tower was established on a firm basis. In the entire history of firm basisis I don't find a basis more firmer than this one. "You have no Tower in America?" said a man in the crowd, who had somehow detected my denomination. "Alars! no," I ansered; "we boste of our enterprise and improvements, and yit we are devoid of a Tower.
"Good! good!" cried Captain Spingler, who desires the Irish vote for country clerk; "that's fus' rate." "You see what I'm drivin at, don't you, Cap?" I said. "Certainly." "Well," I ansered, "I'm very glad you do, becaus I don't." This made the Finians larf, and they said, "Walk up onto the speaker's platform sir."
They cheer'd everybody and everything. They cheer'd me. "Hurroo for Ward! Hurroo!" They was all good nabers of mine, and I ansered in a pleasant voice, "All right, boys, all right. Mavoorneen, och hone, aroon, Cooshla macree!" These Irish remarks bein' received with great applaus, I added, "Mushler! mushler!"
I inquired of the depot master. He sed direckly, and I went in & sot down. I hadn't more'n fairly squatted afore a dark lookin man with a swinister expression onto his countenance entered the cars, and lookin very sharp at me, he axed what was my principles? "Secesh!" I ansered. "I'm a Dissoluter. I'm in favor of Jeff Davis, Bowregard, Pickens, Capt. Kidd, Bloobeard, Munro Edards, the devil, Mrs.
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