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I saw at once that the Tower was established on a firm basis. In the entire history of firm basisis I don't find a basis more firmer than this one. "You have no Tower in America?" said a man in the crowd, who had somehow detected my denomination. "Alars! no," I ansered; "we boste of our enterprise and improvements, and yit we are devoid of a Tower.
At length I murmured, "Alars! I fear it is too troo! Even I was a Capting of the Home Gards." "To be sure," said the lan'lord; "you all do it over there." "Wall," I said, "whatever nation this person belongs to, we may as well go and hear him lectur this evenin.
There wasn't any orchestry, and wishin' to expire to slow moosic, he died playin' on a claironett himself, interspersed with hart-rendin' groans, & such is the world! Alars! alars! how onthankful we air to that Providence which kindly allows us to live and borrow money, and fail und do bizniss! But to return to our subjeck.
I then bought a pair of shoe strings, and wringin the shopman's honest hand, I started for the Tomb of Shakspeare in a hired fly. It look't however more like a spider. "And this," I said, as I stood in the old church-yard at Stratford, beside a Tombstone, "this marks the spot where lies William W. Shakspeare. Alars! and this is the spot where "
I stopt at the Washington Hotel in Liverpool, because it was named after a countryman of mine who didn't get his living by makin' mistakes, and whose mem'ry is dear to civilized peple all over the world, because he was gentle and good as well as trooly great. We read in Histry of any number of great individooals, but how few of 'em, alars! should we want to take home to supper with us!
I wrote out my impromptoo speech severil days beforehand bein very careful to expunge all ingramatticisms and payin particuler attention to the punktooation. It was, if I may say it without egitism, a manly effort; but, alars! I never delivered it, as the sekel will show you. I paced up and down the kitchin speakin my piece over so as to be entirely perfeck.
"You have no Tower in America?" said a man in the crowd, who had somehow detected my denomination. "Alars! no," I anserd; "we boste of our enterprise and improovements, and yit we are devoid of a Tower. America oh my onhappy country! thou hast not got no Tower! It's a sweet Boon." The gates was opened after a while, and we all purchist tickets, and went into a waitin-room.
But it appeared I had shown the same figger for a Pirut named Gibbs in that town the previs season, which created a intense toomult, & the audience remarked "shame onto me," & other statements of the same similarness. I tried to mollify em. I told 'em that any family possessin children might have my she tiger to play with half a day, & I wouldn't charge 'em a cent, but alars! it was of no avail.
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