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Ho! don't you go for a corp'ral Unless your 'ed is clear; But I was an ass when I was at grass, An' that is why I'm 'ere. I've tasted the luck o' the army In barrack an' camp an' clink, An' I lost my tip through the bloomin' trip Along o' the women an' drink.
"Shoulder o' goat," said the woman. "Yah! Don't care much for goat," said the boy. "Arn't half so good as mutton." "You must take what you can get, Tom. Two chickens." "Why, that they ain't. I see 'em: they was an old cock and hen as we chivied into that burnt house this mornin', and Corp'ral shot one, and Mick Toole run his bay'net through the other. Reg'lar stringies." "Never mind.
Aftherwards I was well pleased I kept my fistes home. Then our Captain Crook Cruik-na-bul-leen came up. He'd been talkin' to the little orf'cer bhoy av the Tyrone. 'We're all cut to windystraws, he sez, 'but the Tyrone are damned short for noncoms. Go you over there, Mulvaney, an' be Deputy-Sergeant, Corp'ral, Lance, an' everything else ye can lay hands on till I bid you stop.
'E 'adn't no manner o' right to interfere with us, Sir. I don't mind bein' flogged by the Drum-Major, Sir, nor yet reported by any Corp'ral, but I'm but I don't think it's fair, Sir, for a civilian to come an' talk over a man in the Army." A second shout of laughter shook the Orderly-room, but the Colonel was grave.
They made me a corp'ral for good conduct, but, faix, the great review finished me; for I got into that state of warlike feeling that I loaded me muskit five times widout firin', an' there was such a row round about that I didn't know the dirty thing had niver wint off till the fifth time, when she bursted into smithereens an' wint off intirely. No wan iver seed a scrag of her after that.
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