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Updated: June 20, 2025
Now, then, Bobbie, item four?" "Maps," said Bobbie. "Right," said Mr. Lenox. "I wish I was coming with you." "Do," they all cried. "I can't," said Mr. Lenox. "If I were to go away before September, I should get the sack, and then I should starve. His Lordship is sufficiently cross with me now, because I had to give him out leg-before at the annual estate match last Saturday, when I was umpiring.
Ray, who's kindly umpiring for you at the other end, never gave me half the cheek you do, when he was a kid." For a second the little boy wondered if he had made a mistake and Penny was really a master.
His yarns of gallant stands and unexpected turns of fortune, of memorable hits and eccentric umpiring, albeit tending sometimes incredibly to his glory, are full of the flavour of days well spent, of bright mornings of play, sunlit sprawlings beside the score tent, warmth, the flavour of bitten grass stems, and the odour of crushed turf.
"As an official, the first big game I umpired was in 1894 between Yale and Princeton, following this with nine consecutive years of umpiring the match," writes Dashiell. "After Harvard and Yale resumed relations, I umpired their games for six years running.
Uncle Wiggily did fine at umpiring, and he was as kind and good as could be, so no one found fault with what he said, even when he had to rub his leg that had rheumatism in it. But something dreadful happened. I've got to tell about it, or else it wouldn't be fair, and we must always be honest and fair in this world, no matter whether we want to or not. It was Jimmie's turn at the bat again.
Near by, Paddy apparently was in his element, presiding over his camp-kitchen, a vast bonfire encircled with a dozen iron pots. At the farther edge of the camp Weldon was umpiring a game of football between his own squadron and a company of the Derbys.
"Two strikes!" cried Sage, who was still umpiring. "Look out or he'll strike you out, Berlin." With a faint smile, the batter shrugged his shoulders, and then he did his best to meet the next pitched ball, which seemed to be the kind he especially relished. To his surprise, he missed it widely, for the ball took a sharp drop at the proper moment to deceive him. "You're out," laughed Sage.
A house-master who enters into the life of his house, coaches them in games if an athlete or, if not an athlete, watches the games, umpiring at cricket and refereeing at football, never finds much difficulty in keeping order.
Our decisions, when we were appealed to, were given promptly and decisively. But the boys were so small, and the play was so bad, that the novelty soon wore off. Our feeling of importance died away, when we realised we were umpiring in a match where the stumps were kept in position by the bails, and there was no one who could bowl a straight ball, or anyone who could hit it, if he did.
"I pelief me," nodded Dunnerwurst soberly. "Your advice vill took me." A few moments later he announced that he was ready, and Bob Bubbs stepped out as the first batter. Hans hit Bob with the first ball pitched, and Kilgore, who was umpiring, sent Towser to first. "Vy did you not dotge?" demanded Dunnerwurst, in exasperation. "Any vun vould pelief der ball did not see you coming.
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