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This was quite a new light to M. Sichap, who had hithered considered the double "Pan, pan," an indispensable adjunct to the pantomime of firing a gun; much as my young brother and I had once imagined "Ug, ug," an obligatory commencement to any remark made by a Red Indian "brave."
The fleet established a strict blockade of every port in Scamadumclitchclitch, and not a clove of garlic could enter the island. That compelled the Wuggard army of occupation to reopen the mines for its own subsistence. All this was told to me by the great and good and wise Jogogle-Zadester, King of Ug. "But, your Majesty," I said, "what became of the poor Scamadumclitchclitchians?"
After learning something of the social customs of the country I felt extreme mortification in recollecting this breach of etiquette, and even to this day I cannot think upon it without a blush. Such was my first meeting with Jogogle-Zadester, Pastor-King of Ug, the wisest and best of men.
"Visible embodiment of a great nation's wisdom," I said, "far be it from me to doubt the expediency of that military method; but merely as a matter of economy would it not be better to keep an army in time of peace than to be compelled to create one in time of war?" "Ug is rich," he replied; "we do not have to consider matters of economy.
It is estimated by Wuggard statisticians that in twenty years from the close of the war the annual appropriation for pensions in Ug will amount to no less than one hundred and sixty gumdums to every enlisted man in the kingdom. But they know not the Uggard customs of exterminating the army.
In this vocation I was greatly assisted by a few standard works that had been put ashore with me in my sea-chest. The literature of Ug is copious and of high merit, but consists altogether of fiction mainly history, biography, theology and novels.
"So fond of Natural History as he is, dear boy!" said the doting mother. "Now do tell us, Baron, what you think of him!" "To be perfectly candid, said the cautious Baron, "I would like a little more evidence. I think you mentioned his skill in " "Music?" said the Vice-Warden. "Why, he's simply a prodigy! You shall hear him play the piano? And he walked to the window. "Ug I mean my boy!
JULIE: The Man with the Iron Mask and the fella who says "ug uh-glug uh-glug uh-glug" when the line is busy. THE YOUNG MAN: You are mysterious, I love you. You're beautiful, intelligent, and virtuous, and that's the rarest known combination. JULIE: You're a historian. Tell me if there are any bath-tubs in history. I think they've been frightfully neglected. THE YOUNG MAN: Bath-tubs! Let's see.
So Purdy and his offers of assistance were returned with thanks to the card-room, and Mrs. Devine pinned up her black silk front. But not till she had freely vented her astonishment at the profusion of Mary's good things. "'Ow DO you git 'em to rise so? No, I never did! Fit for Buckin'am Palace and Queen Victoria! And all by your little self, too. My dear, I must give you a good 'UG!"
The Prime Minister, profoundly learned in all things else, could not enlighten me, and the commander-in-chief in the Wuggard war could only tell me, while on his way to the public square, that it was "to vindicate the truth of history." In all the wars in which Ug has engaged in historic times that with Wug was the most destructive of life.
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