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Updated: May 19, 2025
If she could have looked into his mind as he stood there, crushed and degraded in his own eyes, she would have been a little consoled for, in defiance of his self-scorn and self-hate, his nerves were tingling with the memory of that delirium, and his brain was throbbing with the surge of impulses long dormant, now imperious.
While self-hate in this pathological aspect is relatively uncommon, in every person there are self-critical, self-condemning activities which sometimes for short periods of time reach self-hatred and disgust. McDougall makes a good deal of the self-abasing instinct which makes us lower ourselves gladly and willingly.
His gesture of repugnance, of seeming self-hate, was both a prompt and a puzzling one. "That's the hideous, the simply hideous part of it all," he cried out in a sort of listless desperation. "Why hideous?" I demanded, quite clear-headed, and quite determined that now or never the overscored slate of suspicion should be wiped clean.
As he was at last compelled to pay attention to them, his capacity for self-hate was multiplied. In despair, he declared that he was not like those others. He now conceded it to be impossible that he should ever become a hero. He was a craven loon. Those pictures of glory were piteous things. He groaned from his heart and went staggering off.
The capacity for self-hate and self-disgust depends largely upon the development of these ideals and principles of conscience, of expectation of the self. Frequently there is an overrigidity, a ceaseless self-examination that now and then produces miracles of character and achievement but more often brings the breakdown of health.
As he was at last compelled to pay attention to them, his capacity for self-hate was multiplied. In despair, he declared that he was not like those others. He now conceded it to be impossible that he should ever become a hero. He was a craven loon. Those pictures of glory were piteous things. He groaned from his heart and went staggering off.
It has contributed as much as anything to my self-hate. If I had resolutely declined it, I might have found other resources at the last extremity. My life might have taken a different course. That is why I say he has been, perhaps, the reverse of a good angel to me." "But you must have written other plays," pursued Larcher. "Yes; and have even had three of them produced.
"My heart telleth me so!" says she drowsily, and looking down I saw her eyes were closed and she on the verge of slumber. And beholding her thus, my self-hate grew, insomuch that her fingers loosing their hold, I stole away my hand and, seeing her asleep, crept from the place.
He shrank back and dropped once more into his chair. Claire was talking rapidly, savagely. Later she was to be thrown into a despairing self-hate that kept her many a night in tears, but now she went on. "Do you think I will overlook everything in you because I pity you?
The speech leaped from somewhere in her being before she knew it, and with it came knowledge that stung her into tearful self-hate. "We shall go back to our old lives, I suppose, and live them out." It was what she had expected him to say, yet the calm matter-of-fact statement hurt her as nothing he had ever said before. Lawrence dropped into the arm-chair again, and rested his head on his hand.
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