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Updated: June 27, 2025
Thus it came to pass that what between her youth, her beauty, her talent, and her misfortunes for Lady Holmhurst had not exactly kept that history to herself Augusta was all of a sudden elevated into the position of a perfect heroine.
Augusta had just been unfolding that part of her story which dealt with the important document tattooed upon her shoulders, to which Lady Holmhurst had listened "ore rotundo." "And so the young man is coming here to-morrow morning," said Lady Holmhurst; "how delightful! I am sure he looked a very nice young man, and he had very fine eyes. It is the most romantic thing that I ever heard of."
And so they all went, and a very jolly dinner they had, as well they might. At last, however, it came to an end, and the legal twins departed, beaming like stars with happiness and champagne. And then Lady Holmhurst departed also, and left Eustace and Augusta alone.
The meal was over at last, and the boys rushed off to enjoy their short liberty before the hour of preparation. Bilk, who had taken the precaution to put both a sixpence and a cricket-cap in his pocket, silently and unobserved slid out into the deserted playground, and in another minute stood beyond the precincts of Holmhurst.
Presently, however, somebody poked his head through the door, which he opened just wide enough to admit it, and bawling out "Short, re Meeson," vanished as abruptly as he had come. "Now, Lady Holmhurst, if you please," said Mr. John Short, "allow me to show the way, if you will kindly follow with the will this way, please."
"And now, good people," said Lady Holmhurst, "I think that the best thing that we can do is all to go home and rest before dinner. I ordered it at seven, and it is half-past five. I hope that you will come, too, Mr. Short, and bring your brother with you; for I am sure that you, both of you, deserve your dinner, if ever anybody did."
"Well, Augusta?" said Lady Holmhurst, for she called her "Augusta" now. "And what have you done with that young man, Mr. Tombey that very nice young man?" she added with emphasis. "I think that Mr. Tombey went forward," said Augusta. The two women looked at each other, and, womanlike, each understood what the other meant. Lady Holmhurst had not been altogether innocent in the Tombey affair.
"Exactly, Mr. Meeson. A most excellent idea for your successor. Excuse me, but I see Lady Holmhurst beckoning to me." And he fled precipitately, still followed by Mr. Meeson. "John, my dear!" said Lady Holmhurst, "I want to introduce you to Miss Smithers the Miss Smithers whom we have all been talking about, and whose book you have been reading. Miss Smithers, my husband!"
"I do not quite take Lady Holmhurst's point," he said plaintively. "Then you must be stupid," said Eustace, "Don't you see the joke? 'mesne profits, mean of them?" "Ah," said James, with satisfaction; "I perceive. Lady Holmhurst does not seem to be aware that although 'mesne' a totally erroneous word is pronounced 'mean, it is spelt m-e-s-n-e."
Thence an account of the disaster, which, as the reader will remember, created a deep impression, was telegraphed home, and thence, in due course, the widowed Lady Holmhurst and most of the other women who escaped were taken back to England. To return to our heroine and Mr. Meeson.
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