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Updated: May 25, 2025
When Jeremy Diddler, who had lost twenty pounds at his table, lay in inglorious pawn at his inn when O'Toole could not leave Noirbourg until he had received his remittances from Ireland the noble Lenoir paid Diddler's inn bill, advanced O'Toole money upon his well-known signature, franked both of them back to their native country again; and has never, wonderful to state, been paid from that day to this.
The diddler approaches the bar of a tavern, and demands a couple of twists of tobacco. These are handed to him, when, having slightly examined them, he says: "I don't much like this tobacco. Here, take it back, and give me a glass of brandy and water in its place." The brandy and water is furnished and imbibed, and the diddler makes his way to the door.
The one is to the other, as Homer to "Flaccus" as a Mastodon to a mouse as the tail of a comet to that of a pig. Interest: Your diddler is guided by self-interest. He scorns to diddle for the mere sake of the diddle. He has an object in view his pocket and yours. He regards always the main chance. He looks to Number One. You are Number Two, and must look to yourself.
No sofa has been sold no money received except by the diddler, who played shop-keeper for the nonce. Our cabinet warehouses are left entirely unattended, and thus afford every facility for a trick of this kind. Visiters enter, look at furniture, and depart unheeded and unseen.
Should it be read by the loser of the purse, he would hardly suspect it to have any reference to his own misfortune. But, of course, the chances are five or six to one, that the finder will repair to the address given by the diddler, rather than to that pointed out by the rightful proprietor. The former pays the reward, pockets the treasure and decamps. Quite an analogous diddle is this.
Were he not Alexander he would be Diogenes. Were he not a diddler, he would be a maker of patent rat-traps or an angler for trout. Audacity: Your diddler is audacious. He is a bold man. He carries the war into Africa. He conquers all by assault. He would not fear the daggers of Frey Herren.
"Captain Crackthorpe made an admirable Jeremy Diddler in 'Raising the Wind. Lord Farintosh broke down lamentably as Fusbos in 'Bombastes Furioso." Miss Ethel had distinguished herself in both of these facetious little comedies. "I should like Clive to paint me as Miss Plainways," she wrote.
Under the fire of observation they were comparing him, he knew, with the poor old Jeremy Diddler yonder, to the latter's disadvantage his spine stiffened and he held himself nervously erect. But, the quizzing at an end, he fumbled with his finger at his neck his collar seemed to have grown too tight.
"He shall repeat it!" cried the Captain, throwing off his assumption of the tragic father. The Oedipus Coloneus, the Lear the venerable victim of winter winds and men's ingratitude was transformed in a moment into an elderly Jeremy Diddler, lined with Lord Foppington. "He shall repeat it; I will have him at your feet to-morrow.
There must have been something very innocent and confiding in "the cut of our jib" to encourage his boarding us on such an errand; or perhaps it was the old marauding, toll-taking spirit coming out strong in him: the politer influences of the nineteenth century toning down the ancient Viking into a sort of a cross between Paul Jones and Jeremy Diddler.
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