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Updated: May 7, 2025
I have heard of the Shakers before, and have been informed, that those in New England are so convinced of their miraculous capabilities, that they have been known, in order to save their neighbours the trouble of applying to the tinman, charitably to offer to join the gaping seams of their worn-out tin coffee-pots, and other vessels, without the carnal aid of solder, merely by a touch of their wonder-working fingers.
And it gives trouble then only if the succession of steps of change be infinitely divisible. If a bottle had to be emptied by an infinite number of successive decrements, it is mathematically impossible that the emptying should ever positively terminate. In point of fact, however, bottles and coffee-pots empty themselves by a finite number of decrements, each of definite amount.
But that they're ackchelly shopworn, or what's called 'seconds, or put on the As Is counter because they're cracked, or broke, or otherwise slightly disfigured, but still in the ring why, that never seems to percolate through their brains, like those coffee-pots they use nowadays, that don't make no better coffee than the old kind, if you know how to do it good, in the first place.
Travelling here will be a much pleasanter business than in any other country I have visited, as there are good roads, regular posting stages, and regular inns or lodging-houses all over the interior, and I shall no more be obliged to carry about with me that miscellaneous lot of household furniture bed, blankets, pots, kettles and frying pan, plates, dishes and wash-basin, coffee-pots and coffee, tea, sugar and butter, salt, pickles, rice, bread and wine, pepper and curry powder, and half a hundred more odds and ends, the constant looking after which, packing and repacking, calculating and contriving, have been the standing plague of my life for the last seven years.
You don't know how that comforted me. It wasn't my fault all my bumps and coffee-pots! I was just unlucky and it had to be. How I had to be bumped to learn better! Now when I get bumped I try to learn the lesson of the bump and find the right path, so that when I see that bump coming again I can say, "Excuse me; it hath a familiar look," and dodge it.
I had to slap my hands upon hot stoves and coffee-pots, and had to get many kinds of blisters in order to learn it. Then I had to go around showing the blisters, boring my friends and taking up a collection of sympathy. "Look at my bad luck!" Fool! This is not a lecture. It is a confession! It seems to me if you in the audience knew how little I know, you wouldn't stay.
On little charcoal stoves stood coffee-pots; and there was a great clattering of plates and cups and saucers, which men were washing in little pans, and wiping on rather dark towels. "It strikes me I should enjoy going into one of those cuddy-holes and eating my dinner," said Horace. "I feel about starved." "You have a right to be hungry. It is two o'clock. How would you like some oysters?
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