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Updated: June 3, 2025
Muddlepud, the great metaphysician, in that excellent paper, 'The Asinaeum, was wont to observe, 'the susceptibilities, innate, extensible, incomprehensible, and eternal, existing in my bosom, were infinitely more powerful than the shallow suggestions of reason, that ridiculous thing which all wise men and judicious Asinaeans sedulously stifle."
Now, on your oath, remember, were you ever the editor of a certain thing published every Wednesday, and called the 'Athenaeum, or the 'Asinaeum, or some such name?"
I remembered you the moment I saw you, though you are surprisingly grown. How is my friend MacGrawler? still hard at work for 'The Asinaeum'?" "I believe so," said Paul, sullenly, and hastening to change the conversation; "but tell me, Mr. Tomlinson, how came you hither? I heard you had gone down to the North of England to fulfil a lucrative employment." "Possibly!
"I should be excessively obliged to you for your confidence," said Paul, "and I doubt not but your life must be excessively entertaining. Mine, as yet, has been but insipid. The lives of literary men are not fraught with adventure; and I question whether every writer in 'The Asinaeum' has not led pretty nearly the same existence as that which I have sustained myself."
Lobkins; but his whisper seemed to imply an insinuation that the illustrious editor of "The Asinaeum" might be either an informer, or one of those heroes on whom an informer subsists. Mrs. Lobkins's answer, couched in the same key, appeared to satisfy Dunnaker, for with a look of great contempt he chucked up his head and said, "Oho! that be all, be it!"
Bartholomew Fair. IT was not long before there was a visible improvement in the pages of "The Asinaeum." The slashing part of that incomparable journal was suddenly conceived and carried on with a vigour and spirit which astonished the hallowed few who contributed to its circulation.
Some fine ladies think him a great philosopher, and he has been praised in our hearing by some Cambridge Fellows for his knowledge of fashionable society. "For this sort of tickle we generally use the dullest of our tribe; and I have selected the foregoing example from the criticisms of a distinguished writer in 'The Asinaeum, whom we call, par excellence, the Ass.
The world always misrepresents the actions of those who are constantly before it." "It is very true," said Paul; "and I have said the same thing myself a hundred times in 'The Asinaeum, for we were never too lavish of our truths in that magnificent journal. 'T is astonishing what a way we made three ideas go." "You remind me of myself and my newspaper labours," rejoined Augustus Tomlinson.
The erudite Peter MacGrawler, returning to Scotland, disappeared by the road. A person singularly resembling the sage was afterward seen at Carlisle, where he discharged the useful and praiseworthy duties of Jack Ketch. But whether or not this respectable functionary was our identical Simon Pure, our ex-editor of "The Asinaeum," we will not take upon ourselves to assert.
Whatever he might appear to others, he had in reality no vain faith in the infallibility of his own talents and resources; as well might a butcher deem himself a perfect anatomist from the frequent amputation of legs of mutton, as the critic of "The Asinaeum" have laid "the flattering unction to his soul" that he was really skilled in the art of criticism, or even acquainted with one of its commonest rules, because he could with all speed cut up and disjoint any work, from the smallest to the greatest, from the most superficial to the most superior; and thus it was that he never had the want of candour to deceive himself as to his own talents.
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