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Updated: May 14, 2025
At all events, if asked: Where then is the specifical not "superstitious" WANT of "veracity" you ever found in Friedrich? and How, OTHERWISE than even as Friedrich did, would you, most veracious Smelfungus, have plucked out your Silesia from such an Element and such a Time? he would be puzzled to answer. I give his Fragment as I find it, with these deductions:
Now, what do you think Dr. Smelfungus had really pointed out? Why, a musk-melon patch! and as his companions knew no more than himself, Dr. Skihi scrambled through the hedge without more ado, cut with his penknife as many as he could carry, and returned to his friends.
A learned Doctor, one of the most recent on these matters, is astonished why the Histories of Friedrich should be such dreary reading, and Friedrich himself so prosaic, barren an object; and lays the blame upon the Age, insensible to real greatness; led away by clap-trap Napoleonisms, regardless of expense. Upon which Smelfungus takes him up, with a twitch:
I heartily pity them; they have brought up no faculties for this work; and, were the happiest mansion in heaven to be allotted to Smelfungus and Mundungus, they would be so far from being happy, that the souls of Smelfungus and Mundungus would do penance there to all eternity!
Smelfungus had never seen a turnip; he had only read in books that turnips were round, watery vegetables, yellow outside and full of juice; for he was so interested in finding out all about flowers and plants that came from Australia, and other out of the way places, that he never troubled his head with common, homemade turnips those were too vulgar; but as he wished to appear informed on all subjects, he pointed hap-hazard to a field beside the road saying, carelessly, "Certainly; there are some."
Smelfungus and Sheepshanks felt more proud of their learning than ever. Meanwhile Dr. Mumbudget said nothing; so they gave him credit either for thinking a great deal, or being too big a donkey to admire such splendid experiments. The sun had now mounted high, and our travellers began to feel its rays inconveniently warm. Dr. Van Noostile, however, laughed them all to scorn.
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