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That letter wiped away ever vestige of my appetite for the dainties before me. M'Swat's! Send me to M'Swat's! I could not believe it! It must be a nightmare! M'Swat's! Certainly, I had never been there; but all those who had gave graphic descriptions of the total ignorance of Mrs M'Swat. Why, the place was quite tabooed on account of its squalor and dirt!
I will paint it truthfully letter for letter as it was. It was twenty-six miles from Yarnung to Barney's Gap, as M'Swat's place was named. He had brought a light wagonette and pair to convey me thither. As we drove along, I quite liked my master.
We left the pub in Yarnung at nine, and arrived at our destination somewhere about two o'clock in the afternoon. I had waxed quite cheerful, and began to look upon the situation in a sensible light. It was necessary that I should stand up to the guns of life at one time or another, and why not now? M'Swat's might not be so bad after all.
I wrote also pleaded with my mother against her decree, begged her to leave me at Caddagat, and assured her I could never succeed at M'Swat's. I did not sleep that night, so arose betimes to await the first traveller, whom I asked to post the letters. We got an answer to them sooner than we expected at least grannie did.
Mother did not deign to write to me, but in her letter to grannie I was described as an abominably selfish creature, who would not consider her little brothers and sisters. I would never be any good; all I thought of was idleness and ease. Most decidedly I could not get out of going to M'Swat's, as mother had given her word. "I am sorry for you," said grannie, "but it cannot be helped.
He and my father had been boys together. Years and years ago M'Swat's father had been blacksmith on my father's station, and the little boys had played together, and, in spite of their then difference in station, had formed a friendship which lived and bore fruit at this hour. I wished that their youthful relations had been inimical, not friendly.
I acceded to Mrs M'Swat's request with alacrity, thinking that while forced to remain there I would have one comfort, and would spend all my spare time at the piano. I opened the instrument, brushed a little of the dust from the keys with my pocket-handkerchief, and struck the opening chords of Kowalski's "Marche Hongroise".
I wrote those letters very coolly and carefully, explaining things just as they were, and asked grannie to take me back to Caddagat, as I could never endure life at Barney's Gap. I told my mother I had written thus, and asked her if she would not let grannie take me again, would she get me some other situation? What I did not care, so long as it brought emancipation from the M'Swat's.
The lot of ugly girls is not joyful, and they must be possessed of natures very absurdly sanguine indeed ever to hope for any enjoyment in life. It was cruel, base, horrible of my mother to send me to M'Swat's. I would not go not for 50 pounds a day! I would not go! I would not! not for any consideration.
I don't know where her rebellious spirit will eventually lead her. I hope M'Swat's will tame her; it will do her good. It is absolutely necessary that she should remain there, so do not say anything to give her other ideas &c. Mother's Letter to Me My dear Sybylla, I wish you would not write and worry your poor old grandmother, who has been so good to you.
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