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Updated: June 5, 2025
By means of plates constructed for the purpose, place the other foot and hand under the receivers of two air-pumps. Exhaust the receivers. Exhibit a pint of French brandy, and await the result. "'Which would presently arrive in the form of grim Death, said Kopy-Keck. "'If it should, she would yet die in doing our duty, retorted Hum-Drum.
People said she would not live an hour after the lake was gone. But she never cried. A Proclamation was made to all the kingdom, that whosoever should discover the cause of the lake's decrease, would be rewarded after a princely fashion. Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck applied themselves to their physics and metaphysics; but in vain. Not even they could suggest a cause.
So remarkable were its effects upon her, especially in restoring her for the time to the ordinary human gravity, that, strange to say, Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck agreed in recommending the king to bury her alive for three years; in the hope that, as the water did her so much good, the earth would do her yet more.
Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese philosophers by name Hum-Drum, and Kopy-Keck. For them the king sent; and straightway they came.
The queen laughed; but Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck heard with humility and retired in silence. Their consultation consisted chiefly in propounding and supporting, for the thousandth time, each his favourite theories. For the condition of the princess afforded delightful scope for the discussion of every question arising from the division of thought in fact of all the Metaphysics of the Chinese Empire.
"'Now, queen, he said, turning to her majesty, 'what is to be done? "'There is but one thing left, answered she. 'Let us consult the college of Metaphysicians. "'Bravo! cried the king; 'we will. "Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese philosophers by name, Hum-Drum, and Kopy-Keck. For them the king sent; and straightway they came.
Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese philosophers-by name Hum-Drum, and Kopy-Keck. For them the king sent; and straightway they came.
But it is only justice to say that they did not altogether neglect the discussion of the practical question, what was to be done. Hum-Drum was a Materialist, and Kopy-Keck was a Spiritualist. The former was slow and sententious; the latter was quick and flighty; the latter had generally the first word; the former the last. "I reassert my former assertion," began Kopy-Keck, with a plunge.
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