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Updated: June 12, 2025
"The first matter I want to take up with you, Gussy," Fay began, paying no attention whatsoever to the little scene on his shoulder, " or warn you about, rather is the imminent ticklerization of schoolchildren, geriatrics, convicts and topsiders. At three zero zero tomorrow ticklers become mandatory for all adult shelterfolk.
"Jean has good fighting qualities," Lucy said. "She will win." "I had a letter from her to-day," said Miss Vance. "Here it is. She says, 'I mean to rebuild the Schloss, and I have put a stop to the soap-boiling business. I will have no fumes of scorching fat in our ancestral halls. Four of the princesses live with us here in the flat. Gussy Carson from Pond City is staying with me now.
'Did you hear, goodman? she went on, about to repeat the whole story to her husband who then came up. 'There's dame Lookaloft and Bab and Gussy and the lot of 'em all sitting as grand as fivepence in madam's drawing-room, and they not axed no more nor you nor me. Did you ever hear tell the like o' that? 'Well, and what for shouldn't they? said Farmer Greenacre.
Even pet your girl by remote control she in her bubble, you in yours, whizzing through vacuum. Oh, damn-damn-damn-damn-DAMN!" He was glaring at the blank screen of the TV, his big hands clenching and unclenching. "Don't let Fay give you apoplexy he's not worth it," Daisy said, sticking her trim head in from the kitchen, while Fay inquired anxiously, "Gussy, what's the matter?"
A word. I think computers are conscious, at least while they're operating. They've got that inner glow of awareness. They sort of ... well ... meditate." "Gussy, computers haven't got any circuits for meditating. They're not programmed for mystical lucubrations. They've just got circuits for solving the problems they're on." "Okay, you admit they've got problem-solving circuits like a man has.
My God, it's small! Besides everything else it does, does it think?" "Don't pretend to be an idiot, Gussy! You know very well that even with ultra-sub-micro nothing quite this small can possibly have enough elements to do any thinking." Gusterson shrugged. "I don't know about that. I think bugs think." Fay groaned faintly. "Bugs operate by instinct, Gussy," he said. "A patterned routine.
"Gussy, old boy," Fay said, twitching a depthless grin, "I'd be very much obliged if you'd answer a few simple questions." His voice was hoarse at first but he swallowed twice and corrected that. "What exactly did you have in mind when you invented ticklers? What exactly are they supposed to be?"
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