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Updated: June 27, 2025
Oh dear, dear convarted men, though they won't larf themselves, make others larf the worst kind, sometimes; don't they? "I do believe, on my soul, if religion was altogether left to the voluntary in this world, it would die a nateral death; not that men wouldn't support it, but because it would be supported under false pretences. Truth can't be long upheld by falsehood.
"I wish I needed conversion as little as you," said Haldane despondently. "Now look here," snapped the old man; "I'm in no mood for any nonsense to-night. I want you to know I never have been convarted, and I can prove it to you plaguy quick if you stroke me agin the fur. You've got the advantage of me in this business, though you have been a hard cuss; for you are young and kind o' limber yet."
Then, as he glanced at the discouraged youth, his manner changed, and in a tone that was meant to be kindly he added, "There, there! Why don't you pluck up heart? If I was as young as you be, I'd get convarted if it took me all summer."
At last he snarled: "I'm a blasted old fool for goin' to meetin' and gittin' all riled up so. Here, I haven't had a comfortable doze today, and I shall be kickin' around all night with nothin' runnin' in my head but 'Except ye be convarted, except ye be convarted'; I wish I had as good a chance of bein' convarted as I have of bein' struck by lightnin'."
Here I've been trying to convert Moses with my preaching, and the Almighty sets aside His servant, and converts the sinner by means of a dog and a little child. After all, there's something can get at the heart besides theology and philosophy. The foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man. 'Then yo' think he's convarted, Mr. Penrose?
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