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Updated: September 27, 2025
Anybody passing him in the street might have known him for a good man at first sight; for his whole figure teemed with a consciousness of the moral homily he had read to Mrs Todgers. Eighteen shillings a week! Just, most just, thy censure, upright Pecksniff!
He further said, that Mrs Todgers being a consenting party to this invitation, he was willing, for his part, to accept it; and so left them that he might write his gracious answer, the while they armed themselves with their best bonnets for the utter defeat and overthrow of Miss Pinch.
Who, it seemed, had cut his matrimonial career rather short, by unlawfully running away from his happiness, and establishing himself in foreign countries as a bachelor. 'Your pa was once a little particular in his attentions, my dears, said Mrs Todgers, 'but to be your ma was too much happiness denied me. You'd hardly know who this was done for, perhaps?
It seemed that M. Todgers was not up yet, for Mr Pecksniff knocked twice and rang thrice, without making any impression on anything but a dog over the way. 'Still a-bed my man? asked Mr Pecksniff. 'Still a-bed! replied the boy. 'I wish they wos still a-bed. They're very noisy a-bed; all calling for their boots at once.
"Now Todgers always breakfasted at twenty-five to eight, At seven-thirty-five Miss Tee poured out her chocolate; And Todgers at nine-thirty yawned 'Lights out! I'll go to bed. At half-past nine Miss Tee 'retired' a word she used instead. Their hours were identical at meals and church and chores, At weeding in the garden, or at solitaire indoors."
He often informed Mrs Todgers that the sun had set upon him; that the billows had rolled over him; that the car of Juggernaut had crushed him, and also that the deadly Upas tree of Java had blighted him. His name was Moddle.
Todgers, and the amount of gravy single gentlemen eat is still weighing heavy on her mind. As if to make the thing quite perfect, they discovered fitful glimpses of a tousled-looking boy, cleaning knives or boots, in a cellar-kitchen; and all the lawyers in London couldn't have argued them out of their firm belief that it was young Bailey, undergoing his daily torment in company with the black beetles and the mouldy bottles.
To this mansion Mr Pecksniff, accompanied by his daughters and Mrs Todgers, drove gallantly in a one-horse fly.
After helping his daughters and Mrs Todgers into that conveyance, he stood looking at it for some moments, as if he were not quite certain whether it was a carriage or a temple; but having settled this point in his mind, he got into his place, spread his hands out on his knees, and smiled upon the three beholders. But his daughters, less tranquil-minded, burst into a torrent of indignation.
Mr Pecksniff now repeated the Todgers performance on a comfortable scale, as if he intended it to last some time; and in his disengaged hand, catching hers, employed himself in separating the fingers with his own, and sometimes kissing them, as he pursued the conversation thus: 'I am glad we met. I am very glad we met. I am able now to ease my bosom of a heavy load, and speak to you in confidence.
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