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Updated: May 8, 2025
You take a knife that's had knicks hacked out of it, and cut a hunk of dry bread that chews like sand. You eat some 'bully beef out of a tin, same tinned stuff as you've been eating ever since your stomach went on strike a year ago. Once a week for a treat, you cut a steak off the flank of a dead horse. That tastes better, because it's fresh meat.
Poormaster Van Stingey had "got religion," by which he was wonderfully enlightened, having been so lucky as to gain that valuable accomplishment just six months, and only six months, before his election, at a camp meeting held near the village of M ville. "I tell you what, the fact of the matter is, Mr. Knicks," said he, "there is nothin' like religion.
The Riffi turban, of strings of dark red wool, was wound round his head; a white shirt showed at his neck; he wore a black waistcoat, a white tunic down to his knees, and red knicks, below which came his long hairy shanks, ending in a pair of yellow slippers.
"Well, sir," said Knicks, "I can tell you I never met a Christian but my mother; and I cannot believe or listen to you say she went to destruction, but to heaven, if there is such a place. And again: if I were to embrace any religion, it would be the Roman Catholic religion; for it is the only honest religion there is.
This conversation which happened a few days before the death of our emigrant widow between his neighbor "Knicks" and our official shows what an enlightened gentleman he was. Since his elevation to office, he also got promotion to another situation, which, though not so lucrative as that of poormaster, in the course of time, by proper management, promised to come to something.
"O, but your mother was a stiff Papist, you know, and did not understand the word of God." "Yes, sir-ee, she did that; for I well recollect that, in the many arguments she had with father, she always had the best of it. That she had." "She may argue from Jesuit books and the like; but the Bible she durst not look at, you know, Knicks." "I know better, Van. Don't you talk so.
I have got the very Bible she used and read every day a great large one, printed in London. Mother was English, and herself a convert to the church of Rome, though father was Dutch." "Why, I never knowed that, Knicks. That was a great misfortune. These priests, by the arts of Antichrist, will come round simple folks so, that they often succeed in leading them down to destruction."
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