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Who was the only person in the family that COULD put a stop to it? Then again but what's the use? I forecast, I foresee, I provide, I plan it is my "natur' to." I can't go sprawling through life. I must know where I am to set my foot. Dear mother has no more sense of anxiety than a rice pudding, and father is as cool as one of his own ice-pitchers.

Then there would be a change. Two ladies would appear approaching each other and retreating turning into two ice-pitchers, tilting to each other, then passing from tilting pitchers to bowing ladies, until sometimes there seemed almost to be a pitcher and a lady in view at the same time. When he began to look for them both at once the dream became tantalizing.

"You ricollec' ol' Mis' Meredy, she used to preside over one thet they had, an' somehow he taken a distaste to her an' to ice-pitchers along with her, an' he don't never lose a chance to express his disgust. When them new folks was in town last year projec'in' about the railroad, he says to me, 'I hope they won't stay, they'd never suit Simpkinsville on earth.

We're really not meek a bit we're secretly quite ferocious; but we're held to be ashamed of ourselves not only for our proved business incompetence, but for our lack of first-rate artistic power as well: it being now definitely on record that we've never yet designed a single type of ice-pitcher since that's the damnable form Father's production more and more runs to; his uncanny ideal is to turn out more ice-pitchers than any firm in the world that has "taken" with their awful public.

The ill-tasting limestone-tainted water of Paris is a poor substitute for our sparkling draughts of Schuylkill or Croton. Ice-pitchers, water-coolers and refrigerators are unknown quantities in the sum-total of Parisian luxuries.

It has tempered and plated us for the rest of life, and to an effect different enough from the awful metallic wash of our Company's admired ice-pitchers. We artists are at the best children of despair a certain divine despair, as Lorraine naturally says; and what jollier place for laying it in abundantly than the Art League?

How did you leave my friend the Shah of Persia?" "Better," I said, stepping into the open carriage, "since he got on the water-wagon uses nothing but Eastridge silver-plated ice-pitchers now." "And my dear friend the Empress of China?" he asked, as he got in beside me.