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Updated: May 26, 2025
Ah! it is not for you to open the bud into a blossom. He who can open the bud does it so simply. He gives it a glance, and the life-sap stirs through its veins. At his breath the flower spreads its wings and flutters in the wind. Colours flush out like heart-longings, the perfume betrays a sweet secret. He who can open the bud does it so simply.
He was Quincy Adams Sawyer's son the son of the man who had taught her what love was. It had been a bitter lesson, for when her heart was awakened, it was but to find that the one who had played upon its sensitive strings did not love her, and that her duty was to another who did love her. She had been a true and loving wife with no unsatisfied heart-longings, but
"Mercy! ... mercy! ... not for me, but for her! ... for her, my love, my life, my tenderest little one! ... What is her crime, ye fiends? ... why do ye deem love a sin and passion a dishonor? ... Shall there be no more heart-longings because ye are cold? ... Spare her! ... she is so young, so fond, so innocent of all reproach save one, the shame of loving me!
So here goes cheerily and trustfully. 'August 10, 1890. 'I cannot say God gives me all the victories I want, but He keeps me in peace and faith, and that is not a little thing. How like are the heart-longings and soul-breathings of the old Judean hunted outlaw brigand, if you like to call him so to the heart and soul feelings of the educated Occidental of the nineteenth century!
Only he who has been a prisoner of war in a Southern prison in midsummer, or in a Northern prison in the dead of winter, in time of active hostilities outside, can fully realize the heart-longings of a soldier prisoner to find release from his sufferings in confinement, and to be again at his post of duty at the front, or can understand how gladly such a man would find a way, consistent with the right, to escape, at any involved risk.
The young South Carolinian, in his ambitions, in his heart-longings and heart-sickenings, in his poetry, even in his emotions, had always been lonely; so that his loneliness had grown to seem to him as merely part of the day's work.
"She'll love her. Aunt 'Lethe'll understand!" And then he wondered just exactly what it was that he felt so very certain his Aunt 'Lethe would be sure to understand. He did not understand, himself, precisely what had happened to him, his life-plans, heart-longings.
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