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Updated: June 12, 2025
"I shall be glad if you manage the office better than I have done." "You see, ma'am, it stands to reason that a man is better fitted for business than a woman," said Ebenezer Graham, in a smooth tone for he wanted to get over this rather awkward business as easily as possible. "Women, you know, was made to adorn the domestic circles, et cetery."
I might, to enliven conversation, quote from the 'Five Hundred Ennobling Thoughts from the World's Greatest Authors, Including the Prose and Poetical Gems of All Ages, containing, as it does, the best thoughts of the greatest minds, suitable for polite and refined conversation, sixty-two solid pages of the, with vingetty portraits of the authors, and a short biographical sketch of each, including date and place of birth, date and place of death, if dead, et cetery.
There is nothing, Mrs. Smith, in the chapter on 'Courtship How to Win the Affections, et cetery, about loaning money to the lady. It would derange the directions given in this book, which is " "I don't want to hear about the book," said Mrs. Smith with annoyance. "I know all about the book. So you refuse to lend me sixty dollars?
"I guess I'll go, too," said Eliph' Hewlitt promptly and cheerfully. "I'm a good hand at that. It tells all about it in Jarby's Encyclopedia. Look under 'P':'Picnic Lunches. Picnic, How to Organize and Conduct. Picnic, Origin of, et cetery, et cetery.
"Not the hottest," answered Eliph', leaning forward eagerly. "You wouldn't say that if you had a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, and studied it up the way I do. This, with the chapter on the Physical Geography of Land and Sea, telling of tides, typhoons, trade winds, tornadoes, et cetery, explains why and how weather happens.
I was just showing you up as a desert-man, et cetery, but if any man had told me you'd drink that poisoned water I'd've said he was crazy with the heat. You're a lovely looking specimen of humanity! What's the matter didn't you like them Epsom salts?" "There was arsenic in that water!" charged Pisen-face fiercely. "I had it analyzed you were trying to kill me!"
"I used to wrestle some when I was a boy. But not much. I hadn't then the rules, given on page 554 of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, including "How to Wrestle, How to Defend Oneself Against Sudden Attack, Jui Jitsu," et cetery, with wood cuts showing the best holds and how to get them.
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