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Updated: August 4, 2024
"'Oh, anything, says I. 'Let's take any name at random. "'All right, says he. 'Let it be random. Earl an' Earl-ess Random. Come along. "So we walks about, I feelin' mighty noble an' springy, an' afore long we sees another couple a-walkin' about under the trees. "'Who's them? says I. "'Don't know, says he, 'but I expect they're some o' the other boarders.
We aint likely to have no chance ag'in of being jus' what we've a mind to, an' so let's try it now. "'What would you have a mind to be? says he. "'Well, says I, 'let's be an earl an' a earl-ess. "'Earl-ess'? says he, 'there's no such a person. "'Why, yes there is, of course, I says to him. 'What's a she-earl if she isn't a earl-ess?
"Well, you may be sure, I stood there amazed enough, an' mad too when I heard her talk about my bein' all I was a-thinkin' I was. I was sure my husband scarce two weeks old, a husband had told all. It was too bad. I wished I had jus' said I was the Earl-ess of Random an' brassed it out. "I rushed back an' foun' him smokin' a pipe on a back porch.
I thought it would be a good thing, while I was Earl Jiguel and you was a noble earl-ess, to come to a place where people acted that way.
"'The earl, says I, not mindin' his interruption, 'an' me, your noble earl-ess, will go to some good place or other it don't matter much jus' where, and whatever house we live in we'll call our castle an' we'll consider it's got draw-bridges an' portcullises an' moats an' secrit dungeons, an' we'll remember our noble ancesters, an' behave accordin'. An' the people we meet we can make into counts and dukes and princes, without their knowin' anything about it; an' we can think our clothes is silk an' satin an' velwet, all covered with dimuns an' precious stones, jus' as well as not.
There was lots of trees back of the house, with walks among 'em, an' altogether it was so ole-timey an' castleish that I was as happy as a lark. "'Come along, Earl Miguel, I says; 'let us tread a measure 'neath these mantlin' trees. "'All right, says he. 'Your Jiguel attends you. An' what might our noble second name be? What is we earl an' earl-ess of?
"They stops when they sees me, an' the lady she bows and says 'good-mornin', an' then she smiles, very pleasant, an' asks if I was a-livin' here, an' when I said I was, she says she was too, for the present, an' what was my name. I had half a mind to say the Earl-ess Random, but she was so pleasant and sociable that I didn't like to seem to be makin' fun, an' so I said I was Mrs. De Henderson.
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