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'Well, who d'ye think I see to-day but th' Sultan. I tell ye I did. What is he like? He ain't much to look at a skinny little man, Osman, that ye cud sthrangle between ye'er thumb an' forefinger. He had a bad cold an' was sneezin'. He wore a hand-me-down coat. He has a wen on th' back iv his neck an' he's crosseyed. Here's a pitcher iv him. 'What, that little runt?
"But with me 'tis diff'rent. Whin Phibbius Apollo as Hogan calls th' sun, raises his head above th' gas house, I'm cuddled up in me couch an' Morpus, gawd iv sleep, has a sthrangle holt on me. Th' alarm clock begins to go off an' I've just sthrength enough to raise up an' fire it through th' window.
A bear has th' sthrongest throat iv anny crather in th' wurruld, barrin' Bryan. Why, I wud hate to have to sthrangle a bear. I did wanst, but I had writer's cramp f'r months aftherward. "An' that settles it. Fr'm now on ye can get anny wan iv these here nature writers be callin' up four iliven eight B, Buena Park.
"Not if I can help it," returned Abraham, making a desperate effort to regain his feet. "By my shalvation, boy," he added, fiercely, "if you don't take your hande off my peard, I'll sthrangle you." "Help me, Jack!" shouted Thames, "or I shan't be able to keep the villain down." "Stick the spike into him, then," returned Sheppard, coolly, "while I unbar the outlet."
'Th' coort, says th' judge, 'is always r-ready to defind th' honor iv France, he says; 'an', if th' larned counsel will con-sint, he says, 'to step up here f'r a minyit, he says, 'th' coort'll put a sthrangle hold on him that'll not do him a bit iv good, he says. 'Ah! he says. 'Here's me ol' frind Pat th' Clam, he says. 'Pat, what d'ye know about this case? he says.
Now th' first thing we larn th' future Mark Hannas an' Jawn D. Gateses iv our naytion is waltzin', singin', an' cuttin' pitchers out iv a book. We'd be much betther teachin' thim th' sthrangle hold, f'r that's what they need in life." "I know what'll happen.
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