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Updated: May 6, 2025
But I was in for it, and I commenced: "Feller Citizens, For this onexpected honor " To this painful and disgustin interruption I paid no attention. " for this onexpected honor, I thank you." Again I didn't notice him, but resumed as follows: "I say, I thank you warmly. When I look at this crowd of true Americans, my heart swells " DR. SCHWAZEY. "So do I!" A VOICE. "We all do!" " my heart swells "
"Dr, Schwazey," said I, sternly, "you are drunk. You're disturbin the meetin." DR. S. Have you a banquet spread in the house? I should like a rhunossyross on the half shell, or a hippopotamus on toast, or a horse and wagon roasted whole. Anything that's handy. Don't put yourself out on me account.
A brief glance showed me that the assemblage was summut mixed. There was a great many ragged boys, and there was quite a number of grown-up persons evigently under the affluence of the intoxicatin bole. The Band was also drunk. Dr. Schwazey, who was holdin up a post, seemed to be partic'ly drunk so much so that it had got into his spectacles, which were staggerin wildly over his nose.
SCHWAZEY, a leadin' citizen in a state of mind which showed that he'd bin histin' in more'n his share of pizen. "Hello, old Beeswax," he bellered; "how's yer grandmams? When you goin' to feed your stuffed animils?" "What's the matter with the eminent physician?" I pleasantly inquired. "This," he said; "this is what's the matter. I'm a habit-ooal drunkard! I'm exempt!" "Jes' so."
A VOICE. "Three cheers for the swells." "We live," said I, "in troublous times, but I hope we shall again resume our former proud position, and go on in our glorious career!" DR. SCHWAZEY. I'm willin for one to go on in a glorious career! Will you join me, fellow-citizens, in a glorious career? What wages does a man git for a glorious career, when he finds himself?"
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