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Updated: June 9, 2025
I am now to exhibit a case, where an extreme love of mental excitement produced by extraordinary sights and positions, gave rise to a species of disease, which we have no name for in our nosology. The individual was a Mr. Y , a gentleman of fortune, who came to reside in the town where I practise.
Schreiber's household, I am bound to report that in no instance have I known young ladies so thoroughly steeled against all the ordinary host of petty maladies which, by way of antithesis to the capital warfare of dangerous complaints, might be called the guerilla nosology; influenza, for instance, in milder forms, catarrh, headache, toothache, dyspepsia in transitory shapes, etc.
I gave it a pull or two upon the spot, and wrote a pamphlet on Nosology forthwith. All Fum-Fudge was in an uproar. "Wonderful genius!" said the Quarterly. "Superb physiologist!" said the Westminster. "Clever fellow!" said the Foreign. "Fine writer!" said the Edinburgh. "Profound thinker!" said the Dublin. "Great man!" said Bentley. "Divine soul!" said Fraser. "One of us!" said Blackwood.
In the London Medical and Surgical Journal, 1831, are reported cases at eighty and ninety-five years. In Good's System of Nosology there are instances occurring at seventy-one, eighty, and ninety years. There was a woman in Italy whose menstrual function continued from twenty-four to ninety years.
When I came of age my father asked me, one day, If I would step with him into his study. "My son," said he, when we were seated, "what is the chief end of your existence?" "My father," I answered, "it is the study of Nosology." "And what, Robert," he inquired, "is Nosology?" "Sir," I said, "it is the Science of Noses." "And can you tell me," he demanded, "what is the meaning of a nose?"
In short, the body medical was in a state of suspended animation, possessed of a mere vegetative existence. The medical writers who were most revered were those who busied themselves with nosology; that is to say, the naming and classifying of diseases.
I am that is to say I was a great man; but I am neither the author of Junius nor the man in the mask; for my name, I believe, is Robert Jones, and I was born somewhere in the city of Fum-Fudge. The first action of my life was the taking hold of my nose with both hands. My mother saw this and called me a genius: my father wept for joy and presented me with a treatise on Nosology.
At the head of the article was a wood-cut of a gigantic nose, mapped out into faculties. "Gentlemen, the nose is the most prominent feature in this bill," commenced the parody. "The nose is the true seat of the mind; and therefore, gentlemen, Nosology, or the science of the nose, is the true phrenology. He, who knows his nose, foreknows; for he knows that which is before him.
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