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Updated: June 3, 2025
"I am glad she didn't. I wouldn't like Carlotta to think I could be bribed." "She didn't. Carlotta has perfectly clear impressions as to where you stand. She gives you entire credit for being the blind, stubborn, pigheaded jack-ass that you are." Phil grinned faintly at this accumulation of epithets, but his blue eyes had no mirth in them. The interview was beginning to be something of a strain.
Don't fear, said I I'll not hurt the poorest jack-ass upon the king's highway. But your horse throws dirt; see you've splash'd a bishop I hope in God, 'twas only Ernulphus, said I. But you have squirted full in the faces of Mess. Le Moyne, De Romigny, and De Marcilly, doctors of the Sorbonne. That was last year, replied I. But you have trod this moment upon a king.
I'll tread upon no one quoth I to myself when I mounted I'll take a good rattling gallop; but I'll not hurt the poorest jack-ass upon the road. So off I set up one lane down another, through this turnpike over that, as if the arch-jockey of jockeys had got behind me.
In Burgundy I saw a peasant ploughing the ground with a jack-ass, a lean cow, and a he-goat, yoked together. It is generally observed, that a great number of black cattle are bred and fed on the mountains of Burgundy, which are the highest lands in France; but I saw very few.
The beata Clara was paraded through the streets of Madrid, honeyed and feathered, and mounted on a jack-ass, and then sent to be imprisoned in a house of penance for the remainder of her life. The other fact which we have alluded to and promised some account of to our readers, dates in more modern times; indeed, all the actors in that far-famed farce are still living.
The part called the Basilica, and about one half of the Cella Sanctior, remain, and are converted into the dwelling-house and stable of the peasant who takes care of the count de Gubernatis's garden, in which this monument stands. In the Cella Sanctior, I found a lean cow, a he-goat, and a jack-ass; the very same conjunction of animals which I had seen drawing a plough in Burgundy.
'I remembered having laughed myself when I had seen good men struggling with adversity in the person of a jack-ass, and the recollection filled me with penitence. That was in my old light days before this trouble came upon me. He had a sleeping-bag, waterproof without, blue sheep's wool within, and in this portable house he passed his nights afield.
And they were the ones you knew most about; since every American jack-ass that got rich quick and wanted to set himself up above his fellows would proceed to get English clothes and English servants and English bad manners.
This Jack-Ass you might also behold perambulating the streets of , a second Judas Iscariot a houseless, homeless, penniless, forlorn fugitive, like Old Nick or Beelzebub, seeking whom he might betray and injure in the public estimation, in rapacity, or in discharging a blunderbuss full of falsehood against the most pure and unimpeachable Member of society!
Bud stopped his pacing to and fro to stand in our cell-doorway. I was sitting on a stool, thinking hard. "We can't do a thing," said Bud, "we're in for it, good and proper." " tell you what I'll do," I responded, "I'll write a letter to the owner of the warehouse and appeal to his humanity." "You romantic jack-ass," yelled Bud, his nerves on edge. He walked away angry. He came back calmer.
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