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Updated: June 18, 2025
Conshy could no longer contain himself; the very idea of Old Kit having a conscience of any kind or description whatever, so tickled him, that he burst into a most uproarious fit of laughter, which I was in great hopes would have choked him, and thus made me well quit of him for ever.
"To be sure I have, Conshy, my darling; but toujours per" "Have done, now, you are going too far," says Conshy. "Oh, you be ". "Thomas," cries a still stern voice, from the very inmost recesses of my heart. Wee Conshy holds up his finger, and pricks his ear. "Do you hear him?" says he. "I hear," says I, "I hear and tremble." Now, to apply.
Hook, in his double refined nonsense, palavers about the blasphemy of white wine after brown game and he is not far wrong either; at least I never thought he was, so long as my Hermitage lasted; but at the time I speak of, it was still to the fore so the moment the pint a piece was out, "Hold hard, Tom, now," cheeps little Conshy. "Why, only one glass of Hermitage, Conshy." Conshy shakes his head.
"I will reform, Conshy, and that immediately; but my moral is good, man." "Well, well, Tom, I will take you at your word, so set about it, set about it." "But, Conshy a word in your starboard lug why don't you go to the fountain head why don't you try your hand in a curtain lecture on Old Kit North himself, the hoary sinner who seduced me?"
"Ditto," quoth Peter; and down crumbles all my fine fabric of resolutions, only to be rebuilt tomorrow, before breakfast again, or at any odd moment, when one's flesh is somewhat fishified. Another instance. "I say, Tom," says Conshy, "do give over looking at that smart girl tripping it along t'other side of the street."
"Presently, my dear little man," says I. "Tight little woman that, Conshy; handsome bows; good bearings forward; tumbles home sweetly about the waist, and tumbles out well above the hips; what a beautiful run! and spars clean and tight; back stays well set up." "Now, Tom, you vagabond, give over. Have you not a wife of your own?"
"Lud a mercy," quoth I, Thomas, "I will perpend, Master Conscience" and I set myself to eschew the evil deed, with all my might. But Conscience the Younger whom I will take leave to call by Quashie's appellative hereafter, Conshy is a funny little fellow, and another guess sort oft a chap altogether.
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