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Updated: May 19, 2025
I had told Hadds that the next time Pumpey said 'Charge it' I was goin' to take him at his word, then and there, and rush him along on his ear till I felt better. But, of course, now his wife was along I couldn't.
He passed his time in bein' tee'd, tee-heed, or teeterin'. On the other hand, his lady couldn't stand plain raw water. Honest, friends and brothers! I ain't stringin'! I have it on the word of their striker that Mrs. Pumpey couldn't be induced to take a drink of water unless it was boiled, and as for spirited liquors Oh, murder! Don't mention it!
Pumpey see her Major afloat on a gory sea, and without askin' for explanations she give a loud holler and fainted on our stock of fancy dishes. "'Here's where we make a lot of money, I don't think, screeches Hadds he was an excitable person, that Hadds. 'Come! he hollers, 'help me get 'em out of here! There's enough chloroform loose to sleep the bunch of us!
"One night Sufferin' Ichabod! but that was a night. we were jerried to a standstill in one half-hour, or thirty minutes, by the clock. "Things was slack this evening nobody in the store but Hadds, Keno Jim and me, throwin' poker dice for cigars, when the door opens and here come Major Pumpey and his wife from the army post. We were not glad to see the Major.
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