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Updated: May 26, 2025
In the great place of Smithfield, towards noon, Thomas Culpepper sat his horse on the outskirts of the crowd. By his side Hogben, the gatewarden, had much ado to hold his pikestaff across his horse's crupper in the thick of the people.
But because the young Poins sat always silent with his eyes on the road to Ardres and slept being privileged because he was yeoman of the King's guard always in the little stone guard cell of the gateway at nights; because, in fact, the young man's whole faculties were set upon seeing that Thomas Culpepper did not pass unseen through the gate, it was four days before the gatewarden contrived to get himself asked why he would have spat in the dust or cast his hat on high.
I should be advanced, not threatened with a halter. Letters between the King and Kat Howard! He even attempted to himself a clumsy joke, polishing it and repolishing it till it came out: 'A King may write to a Kat. A Kat may write to a King. But my neck's in danger! Beside him, whitened by the dust that fell from above, the gatewarden wandered in speech round his grievance.
He stripped the outer peel from the onion and bit into it. 'Good, warming eating, he said, 'when your stomach's astir from the sea. 'Young lad, the gatewarden said, 'I'm as fain to swear my mother bore me though God forbid I should swear who my father was, woman being woman as that Thomas Culpepper have not passed this way. For why: I'd have cast my hat on high or spat on the ground.
The boy burst forth in a torrent of rage and despair. He cursed Throckmorton to his face for having sent him upon this errand. 'I ha' been beaten by a gatewarden! by a knave! by a ploughman's son from Lincolnshire! he cried. 'A' cracked my skull with a pikestave and kicked me about the ribs when I lay on the ship's floor, sick like a pig.
'Thou liest, Culpepper answered negligently, not turning his gaze from the gatewarden to whom he addressed a friendly question of, Who was the woman that had brought the two of them down. 'Now, Squahre! the Lincolnshire man grinned delightedly; 'thu hast askëd me tü questions. Answer me one: Did thee lie upon her when thee put her name up in the township of Stamford?
But Culpepper had turned a deaf ear to him, and, setting up a violent friendship with the Lincolnshire gatewarden over pots of beer in a brewhouse, had insisted on buying Hogben out of his company and taking him over the sea to be witness of his wedding with Katharine Howard.
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