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Persuasions conceived respecting this or that kind of life also form those minds; hence come inclinations to enter into marriage even with such as are unsuitable, and likewise to refuse consent to marriage with such as are suitable; but still these marriages, after a certain time of living together, vary according to the similitudes and dissimilitudes contracted hereditarily and also by education; and dissimilitudes induce cold.
The varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and differ more or less from each other, 228. Various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes, 228. The Lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial; and if they are not given in the earths, he provides them in the heavens, 229. In the spiritual world, similitudes are joined, and dissimilitudes separated, 273.
But they that observe their differences, and dissimilitudes; which is called Distinguishing, and Discerning, and Judging between thing and thing; in case, such discerning be not easie, are said to have a Good Judgement: and particularly in matter of conversation and businesse; wherein, times, places, and persons are to be discerned, this Vertue is called DISCRETION. The former, that is, Fancy, without the help of Judgement, is not commended as a Vertue: but the later which is Judgement, and Discretion, is commended for it selfe, without the help of Fancy.
So likewise dissimilitudes of manners; as for example, an ill-mannered man or woman, joined with a well-bred one; a neat man or woman, joined with a slovenly one; a litigious man or woman, joined with one that is peaceably disposed; in a word, an immoral man or woman, joined with a moral one.
Various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes, n. 228. The Lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial, and if not on earth he yet provides them in heaven, n. 229. A man, according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast, n. 230.
XVII. Love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners and not at the same time with the other. XVIII. There are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external, with married partners. XIX. Various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes.
DISSIMILITUDES in the spiritual world are separated, 273. See Likeness. DISTANCES. Spheres cause distances in the spiritual world, 171. Distances in the spiritual world are appearances according to the states of mind, 78. DISTINCTION, characteristic, of the woman and the man, 217. DIVERSITIES. Distinction between varieties and diversities.
"From their children, if they have less to fear, they have less also to hope; and they lose without equivalent the joys of early love, and the convenience of uniting with manners pliant and minds susceptible of new impressions, which might wear away their dissimilitudes by long cohabitation, as soft bodies by continual attrition conform their surfaces to each other.
Similitudes may in part be deduced and concluded from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love is changed into cold; of which we shall speak in the following chapter. Similitudes and dissimilitudes in general originate from connate inclinations, varied by education, connections, and persuasions that have been imbibed.
XIX. VARIOUS SIMILITUDES CAN BE CONJOINED, BUT NOT WITH DISSIMILITUDES. The varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and differ more or less from each other; but still those which differ may in time be conjoined by various things, especially by accommodations to desires, by mutual offices and civilities, by abstaining from what is unchaste, by the common love of infants and the care of children, but particularly by conformity in things relating to the church; for things relating to the church effect a conjunction of similitudes differing interiorly, other things only exteriorly.
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