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Updated: May 18, 2025
How do you pig together? Fri. Bare. Pan. Remember you're upon your oath, and tell me justly and bona fide how many times a day you monk it? Fri. Six. Pan. How many bouts a-nights? Fri. Ten. Catso, quoth Friar John, the poor fornicating brother is bashful, and sticks at sixteen, as if that were his stint. Right, quoth Panurge, but couldst thou keep pace with him, Friar John, my dainty cod?
I have already supped, yet will I eat never a whit the less for that; for I have a paved stomach, as hollow as a butt of malvoisie or St. Of all fishes but the tench take the wing of a partridge or the thigh of a nun. Doth not he die like a good fellow that dies with a stiff catso? Our prior loves exceedingly the white of a capon.
Fie! art thou not ashamed? Quoth he, 'The sweet basil of the dykes. 'No! No! answered she, and beat him and cuffed him on the nape. Then said he, 'Thy kaze, thy tout, thy catso, thy coney. But they replied, 'No!
Then she came up out of the water and throwing herself into the porter's lap, pointed to her commodity and said to him, 'O my lord O my friend, what is the name of this? 'Thy kaze, answered he; but she said, 'Fie! art thou not ashamed! And cuffed him on the nape of the neck. Quoth he, 'Thy catso. And she dealt him a second cuff, saying, 'Fie! what an ugly word!
Catso, cried Friar John, I had rather take off a bumper of good cool wine. I saw there the golden fleece formerly conquered by Jason, and can assure you, on the word of an honest man, that those who have said it was not a fleece but a golden pippin, because melon signifies both an apple and a sheep, were utterly mistaken.
But never be so mad as to meddle with these sacred birds, as much as thou lovest the profit, welfare, and life not only of thyself, and thy friends and relations alive or dead, but also of those that may be born hereafter to the thousandth generation; for so long thou wouldst entail misery upon them. Do but look upon that basin. Catso! let us rather drink, then, quoth Panurge.
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