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Updated: July 5, 2025
Lady Scattercash was a real lady, and liked to have the credit of the house maintained, which of course can only be done by letting the upper servants do nothing. 'Mr. Bottleends be gone to bed, observed the woman. 'Mr. Bottleends? repeated Mr. Sponge; 'who's he? 'The butler, to be sure, replied she, astonished that any person should have to ask who such an important personage was.
Bottleends, the butler 'delirius tremendous, as Bottleends called it, having quite incapacitated Sir Harry wrote off for champagne from this man, sherry from that, turtle from a third, turbot from a fourth, tea from a fifth, truffles from a sixth, wax-lights from one, sperm from another; and down came the things with such alacrity, such thanks for the past and hopes for the future, as we poor devils of the untitled world are quite unacquainted with.
Bottleends be gone to bed, observed the woman, now ceasing her evolutions, and parting her grisly, disordered tresses, as she advanced and stood staring, with her arms akimbo, out of the window. She was the under-housemaid's deputy; all the servants at Nonsuch House doing the rough of their work by deputy.
'Perhaps you'd better try what one of yours will do, observed Bob Spangles, to the convulsion of the company. In the midst of their mirth Mr. Bottleends was seen piloting Mr. Sponge up to her ladyship. 'Mr. Sponge, my lady, said he in as low and deferential a tone as if he got his wages punctually every quarter-day. 'How do you do. Mr.
'Can't you call him? asked Mr. Sponge, still fumbling in his pocket. 'Couldn't, if it was ever so, replied the dame, smoothing her dirty blue-checked apron with her still dirtier hand. 'Why not? asked Mr. Sponge. 'Why not? repeated the woman; 'why, 'cause Mr. Bottleends won't be disturbed by no one. He said when he went to bed that he hadn't to be called till to-morrow.
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