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Updated: May 22, 2025
"Eat, eat, my friend!" said his host; "by the Mass! thou hast travelled far; and fill thy glass, and pledge with me Our Black Lady of Altoting. By Holy Cross! I have hung up this week in her chapel a garland of silk roses, and have ordered to be burnt before her shrine three pounds of perfumed was tapers!
Pious friend! thy chaplet of roses was ill bestowed, and thou needest not have travelled so far to light thy wax tapers at the shrine of the Black Lady at Altoting; for by the beauty of holiness! an image of ebony is mother of pearl to that soot-face whom thou callest thy wife.
"Now, by our black Lady of Altoting, thou art an impudent varlet!" growled the Austrian soldier. "You are losing your temper again," retorted the glutton, with his mouth full; "how difficult you are to please! Well, then, if the Austrians may not be touched, what say you to a Bohemian! a tall one-eyed Bohemian serjeant, with an appetite like a hog and a liver like a lizard?"
"Now, by our black Lady of Altoting, this is too much!" and the soldier sprang at the conjuror. "Hold him!" cried Vivian Grey; for the mob, frightened at the soldier, gave way.
"It is because thou hast only one eye, friend; open the other, and thou shalt see two," said the conjuror, in a slow, malicious tone, with his neck extended, and his hand with the hateful box outstretched in it. "Now, by our black Lady of Altoting, I'll soon stop thy prate, chitterling!" bellowed the enraged Bohemian.
No sooner had our pious votary of the Black Lady of Altoting observed the effect of his Hungary wine than, making a well-understood sign to his wife, be took up the chair of Essper in his brawny arms, and, preceded by Mrs. Postmistress with a lantern, he left the room with his guest.
His long black hair was exquisitely braided, and he wore round his neck a collar of pewter medals, all of which had been recently sprinkled with holy water and blessed under the petticoat of the saintly Virgin; for the postmaster had only just returned from a pilgrimage to the celebrated shrine of the Black Lady of Altoting.
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