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Updated: May 29, 2025
The postman looked up inquiringly. "Never heard of Auntie Joney Uncle Joe's wife? No? Well, really, really is it sleeping I am? Not Auntie Joney, the Primitive? Aw, a good ould woman as ever lived. A saint, if ever the like was in, and died a triumphant death, too. No theaytres for her, though. She won't bemane herself.
Sparkes went his way, convinced that Polly was being pursued by some wealthy man, probably quite unprincipled the kind of man who frequents "proper rest'rants" and sits in the stalls at "theaytres," where, doubtless, Polly had made his acquaintance.
Why, she'd be knocking that off, bless you," holding out a half sheet of paper, "in less than an hour and a half. Truth enough, sir." Then, looking at the letter again, "What's this, though? PN. They're always putting a P.N. at the bottom of a letter, Mr. Kelly. P.N. I was expecting to be home before, but I wouldn't get away for Uncle Joe taking me to the theaytres. Ha, ha, ha!
Fiddles was for play-actors and theaytres. "And theaytres is there," said Cæsar, indicating with his foot one flag on the kitchen-floor, "and hell flames is there," he added, rolling his toe over to the joint of the next one. Grannie began to plead. What was a fiddle if you played the right tunes on it? And what was harps but fiddles in a way of spak-ing?
Th' dust an' worry iv th' city with its sprinkled pavements an' its glowin' theaytres is left behind. Th' cool counthry air blows into th' car laden with th' rich perfume iv dainty food with which th' fireman is plyin' his ir'n horse. Th' thrain stops occasion'lly. In fact ye might betther say that occasion'lly it don't stop.
"Sure could you." "On theaytres?" "Sure." "On the Central Park?" "Sure." "On the country? Oh I guess you couldn't to go on the country mit it?" "Sure could you. All places what you wants you could to go sooner Missis Bailey writes on papers how you is good girls." "Oh, how I likes she should write like that fer me. Oh, how I likes I should be monitors off of somethings."
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