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Updated: June 28, 2025
"'The life of the flesh is in the blood. Lev. xxii, 2. "Bleeding reduces the vital powers; Brandreth's Pills increase them. So in sickness never be bled, especially in Dizziness and Apoplexy, but always use Brandreth's Pills. "The laws of life are written upon the face of Nature. The Tempest, Whirlwind, and Thunder-storm bring health from the Solitudes of God.
But I like to have him come once in a while when there is room at the table, as there is now, for it puts me in mind of the old times, when my old boarders was all round me, that I used to think so much of, not that my boarders that I have now a'nt very nice people, but I did think a dreadful sight of the gentleman that made that first book; it helped me on in the world more than ever he knew of, for it was as good as one of them Brandreth's pills advertisements, and did n't cost me a cent, and that young lady he merried too, she was nothing but a poor young schoolma'am when she come to my house, and now and she deserved it all too; for she was always just the same, rich or poor, and she is n't a bit prouder now she wears a camel's-hair shawl, than she was when I used to lend her a woollen one to keep her poor dear little shoulders warm when she had to go out and it was storming, and then there was that old gentleman, I can't speak about him, for I never knew how good he was till his will was opened, and then it was too late to thank him....
It only shows that the milder type of the disease has penetrated the system, which will thus be enabled to out-Jenneral its more dangerous congener. Before long we shall have physicians of our ailing social system writing to the "Weekly Brandreth's Pill" somewhat on this wise: "I have a very marked and hopeful case in Pequawgus Four Corners.
No pain, ache, twinge, or other sensation, good, bad, or indifferent, ever experienced by a member of the human family, but was a most irrefragable evidence of the impurity of the blood; and it would have been blasphemy to have denied the "self-evident" theory, that "all diseases arise from impurity or imperfect circulation of the blood, and that by purgation with Brandreth's Pills all disease may be cured."
The "humbug" in this transaction, of course consisted solely in the manner of advertising. There was no humbug or deception about the article manufactured. In the year 1834, Dr. Benjamin Brandreth commenced advertising in the city of New York, "Brandreth's Pills specially recommended to purify the blood."
Brandreth had great faith in his pills, and I believe not without reason; for multitudes of persons soon became convinced of the truth of his assertions, that "all diseases arise from impurity or imperfect circulation of the blood, and by purgation with Brandreth's Pills all disease may be cured." But great and reasonable as might have been the faith of Dr.
He has ferreted out about mamma's mother, and it appears she was a Venetian music-mistress of the name of Tonquini, or something like that, who taught Lord de Brandreth's sisters so perhaps Lady Ver was right after all, and far, far back in some other life I was the friend of a Doge. Poor, dear Lady Ver!
The doctor continued to let his advertising keep pace with his patronage; and he was finally, in the year 1836, compelled to remove his manufactory to Sing Sing, where such perfectly incredible quantities of Brandreth's Pills have been manufactured and sold that it would hardly be safe to give the statistics.
How to cure such a dyspepsia it were hard to say, unless by administering three or four boat loads of Brandreth's pills, and then running out of harm's way, as laborers do in blasting rocks.
Bowen, making a huge pin-ball in red, white, and blue, and full of the trunk she was packing for Frank to carry, to be filled with raspberry-jam, hard gingerbread, old brandy, clove-cordial, guava-jelly, strong peppermints, quinine, black cake, cod-liver oil, horehound-candy, Brandreth's pills, damson-leather, and cherry-pectoral, packed in with flannel and cotton bandages, lint, lancets, old linen, and cambric handkerchiefs.
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