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Updated: June 2, 2025
A diverting story in the Facetiæ of Poggius, entitled "Mortuus Loqueus," from which it was reproduced in the Italian novels of Grazzini and in our old collection Tales and Quicke Answeres, has a near affinity with jests of this class, and also with the wide cycle of stories in which a number of rogues combine to cheat a simpleton out of his property.
Amongst other enterprises, he landed vpon the sudden at Craal on the faire day, tooke the towne, and robbed the faire, so as they that were come thither to sell their wares, had quicke vtterance and slow paiment. They landed in the Baie de la Hogue saint Wast, in the countrie of Constantine. The Englishmen swarmed like bées round about the countrie, robbing and spoiling the same.
FABRICIO. A kingdome well ordred ought moste of all to avoide the like kinde of men, for only thei, are the destruction of their king, and all together ministers of tiranny, and alledge me not to the contrarie anie presente kingdome, for that I woll denie you all those to be kingdomes well ordered, bicause the kingdomes whiche have good orders, give not their absolute Empire unto their king, saving in the armies, for as much as in this place only, a quicke deliberation is necessarie, and for this cause a principall power ought to be made.
Of this plentie therefore insued great pride, and of this abundance no lesse hautinesse of mind, wherevpon followed great wickednesse, lacke of good gouernement and sober temperancie, and in the necke of these as a iust punishment, death and mortalitie, so that in some countries scarse the quicke sufficed to burie the dead.
In the greatest earnestnesse of Ciceroes eloquence many were drawn into a kind of admiration; But Cato jesting at it, said, "Have we not a pleasant Consull?" A quicke cunning Argument, and a wittie saying, whether it go before or come after, it is never out of season. If it have no coherence with that which goeth before, nor with what commeth after; it is good and commendable in it selfe.
Those that haue quicke motions of wit, haue quicke motions in euerie thing: yron onely needes many strokes, onely yron wits are not wonne without a long siege of intreatie. Golde easily bends, the most ingenious mindes are easiest moued, Ingenium nobis molle Thalia dedit, saith Psapho to Phao.
They sweare their people euery yere to obeye their Prince, and that they that obey in diede, shoulde loue together as felowes and companions: but that the disobediente shoulde be pursued like felons and traitours. "All of them being tall, quicke, and deliver persons." With these they vse bothe to fight and to skirmishe.
All which impediments if they were not, yet in that part of the world, Nauigation cannot be performed as ordenarily as it vsed, for no ordenarie sea chart can describe those regions either in the partes Geographicall or Hydrographicall, where the Meridians doe so spedily gather themselues togeather, the parallels beeing a verye small proportion to a great circle, where quicke and vncertayne variation of the Compasse may greatly hinder or vtterly ouerthrow the attempt.
They thruste hym through with riedes sharpned for the nones, in euery ioynt all ouer his body, and caused hym quicke to be throwen vpon a heape of Thornes, and so to bee burned. Iudgyng that there could not be a greater wickednes emong men, then to take awaie the life, from one that had giuen life vnto hym.
But nowe to growe somewhat neerer the quicke, and to shewe you some greater appearance, then hath bene yet spoken of touching the trade which is the onely subiect wherewith I doe meane to intermeddle at this time, because my addresse hereby is chiefly to men of such like facultie: you may vnderstande by that which followeth, the circumstance of a little discourse, which doeth concerne these matters, very directly.
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